


Sam, I'm Back!

by kirallie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 18:25:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirallie/pseuds/kirallie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam couldn't stop Dean from going to hell but that's okay because he's back now, even if he isn't quite himself anymore. All he wants is to find Sam but when he does will Sam still be there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He didn't know why his brother's presence had led him to this place but he slipped into a vent and floated through them until he came to a vent. 'Looking' down he could see a familiar body lying on the bed with a few machines attached. Everything in him screamed to get into the room, to find out why he was there but he couldn't. Even where he was he could feel the wards and traps in the room, even the vent was protected. Sure he was glad the kid was safe but he didn't need protecting from him! He had to get in there and find out what was wrong. Forcing himself to calm he set off through the vents to find a likely target.

Nick stared in shock as black smoke billowed out of the nearby vent. He went to run but it was too late and then the cloud was pouring down his throat, choking him and then he felt his body move but he wasn't controlling it! He started to panic, screaming in his head and then he stopped.

'Calm down! Thank you. It's kind of hard to drive with you panicking in here you know.' An annoyed voice said.

'Who are you? What's happening to me?' He demanded and he actually felt the voices impatience.

'My name's Dean and I'm a demon. Don't panic! I'm, not gonna hurt you or make you do something bad. I promise I won't be here for long.' Was the explanation and Nick really wanted to pass out. He was possessed by a demon named Dean, maybe he was dreaming? 'No you're not dreaming. Look, I need your help and I don't exactly have a body of my own anymore. There's a patient here, he's my brother. I need to know what's wrong and get him somewhere safer.'

'Why should I believe you?'

'Well I could have knocked you out or even tortured you, that's what demons usually do to their vessels. But all I want is to see my very human brother. Is that so bad?' the demon asked and Nick had to admit it wasn't if it was telling the truth.

'Couldn't you just float into his room or something?'

'Tried that, someone warded the room against demons which means you can't get in their either at the moment. Now the most common wards are salt lines so all you have to do is get maintenance to clean it up and then we'll avoid the other traps in there. Okay? Now you can do it or I'll do it for you. And no trying to ask for help, they'll just think you're nuts anyway.' Dean told him and Nick thought about it.

'Okay, I'll do it. I need the patient's name.'

'Samuel Winchester, but he could be in under an assumed name in which case the last name'll be different so I'll just get you there.' And suddenly Nick realised his body was walking through the building until he reached a room and he recognised the number.

'Samuel Singer, he's been here for three years now.' Nick told the demon who suddenly felt happy.

'Yep, that's him. Now I'm gonna give you back control like I said so call maintenance.' Nick staggered slightly as he suddenly found himself back in control. He leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths before going over to the nurses' station and calling maintenance. It didn't take long for the room to be cleaned and then he opened the door. 'Careful! Look up.' Nick did as told and he could just make out faint lines on the tiles a bit in front of him. 'Devil's Trap, don't go near it or we're trapped.' Dean warned and Nick carefully moved around it and a few other things the demon warned him about until he finally reached the bed and pulled off the chart. 'Well?'

'Transferred from Mercy three years ago. Witnessed his brother being mauled to death by wild dogs and just shut down. Tests are all negative...'

'What's wrong with him?' Dean demanded and Nick winced, a hand going to his head. 'Sorry.' The voice whispered sullenly and he nodded.

'There's nothing medically wrong with him. Diagnosis was shock; he just shut down after seeing his brother killed...he watched you die?'

"Yeah, ripped apart by Hellhounds. Damn it Sammy. So there's no reason he needs to be here?'

'Other than the fact he hasn't moved in three years? Involuntary movement is all that's been recorded.'

'So what you're saying is lights are on but no one's home?' Dean asked and Nick agreed. And then he froze as Sam blinked and his head lolled on the pillow, empty hazel eyes staring through him. 'He moved!' Dean crowed and then Nick felt himself shoved back into his own mind.

"Sam? Can you hear me? It's Dean, I know it doesn't look like me but it is. Come on Sam, give me a sign here." The demon begged and Nick felt a flash of sympathy for it when there was no reaction.

'Dean the fact that he moved at all for the first time in years...maybe he's aware of your presence in a way. But you don't just snap out of something like this. It'll take months, even years and even then he may never fully recover.' Nick tried to console the being that had taken him over and that seemed to surprise it. 'Look, I don't work this wing which means if I'm found here it's going to look very suspicious and if whoever did these protections finds out and guesses well I don't think that'll be good for either of us. We'll leave now and come back at the shift change, less chance of being noticed. I can do some research, dig a bit deeper into his file, okay? Then you can make plans to get him out of here and somewhere you can help. Just...I've got a wife who's pregnant...'

'I won't take you with me. If it comes to it I can use Sam, though it would look suspicious if he just got up and walked out I guess.'

'Just a bit. We could fake a patient transfer, that'd be best.' Nick told him as he left the room and headed for his office. He sank into his chair and sighed tiredly.

'Sorry, my being in here can be a bit taxing. If I leave...'

'I'm not going to go hide. I might be crazy for doing this but all you want is to help him, I can feel it.'

'Thanks.' Dean sounded a bit shocked and then Nick felt his neck arch as the smoke fled his body. It hovered around him for a second and then retreated to hover just inside the vent. He sagged and then closed his eyes, trying to shake off the growing headache and downing some aspirin when it wouldn't go away.

\--------------------------  
They watched the older man leave Sam's room looking sad and Nick could feel Dean's confusion.

'Dean?'

'Sorry, it sort of feels like I should know him.'

'Logged in as Robert Singer, the last name your brother's under. So family friend?'

'I don't know, I don't remember.' Dean answered sadly.

'Why not?'

'All part of becoming a demon, you really don't want to know the details. Least I think most humans wouldn't want to know.'

'No offence meant but you don't really seem like a demon, least from what I was told in church. Aren't you meant to be all about killing and torturing or something?' Nick asked and then wanted to hit himself for it.

'But that would make Sam sad. I...I don't remember a lot but I remember him, he was all I could hold onto when they...they tried to make me forget him too but I couldn't. Maybe I did know that Singer guy, I just don't know anymore. I don't even know how I got out of Hell.' Dean admitted quietly and Nick nodded.

'Lets go see Sam.' He thought to cheer him up. Maintenance was once again called to clean; apparently Singer was the one who was protecting the room since there was fresh salt down. He felt Dean's pain when they approached the bed and Sam continued to stare blankly out the window since he'd been turned on his side. Nick gave Dean control and the demon reached out to brush Sam's hair out of his eyes.

"Hey Sammy, I'm back again. The guy I'm, well wearing, his name is Nick and he's a doctor here. He's helping figure out how to get you out of here. I know....you've got no reason to believe it's me and not just any old demon in here but I missed you Sam, you were all I could think of down there. So I'm gonna take care of you, even if you never get better we'll never be apart again." Dean promised and then ruffled his brother's hair like he used to before giving control back to Nick who checked Sam's charts and fluffed his pillow a bit before leaving.

\----------------------------  
Dean fought not to make the body twitch as the final paperwork was signed and then he walked out of the office, the proud owner of a house in the middle of nowhere. The guy he was in right then would never know he'd bought it; unlike the doc he was completely suppressed. The house had been bought using a fake id, it had been a surprise to suddenly remember how to make one but very handy. And he'd picked a rich guy so hopefully he wouldn't notice the missing money for months. He wanted nothing to be able to lead anyone to them once they were settled. He got the guy home and then left him, heading back to the institution where Sam was. He headed straight for Nick's office and then spun around him and Nick opened his mouth.

'Anyway I can keep from having others do this to me after you leave?' The doctor asked once he'd settled.

'Check Sam's chest, he has a tattoo. Take a picture and get the exact same thing done over your heart. I think I had one too. Bought a house and made sure it had everything you said we'd need. When can we go?' Nick got the feeling that if he could see Dean the demon would be bouncing in excitement.

'Ready to be rid of me so quickly?' he teased and felt a flash of guilt from Dean. 'Just teasing. I've started slipping the paperwork in; you'll have to take care of the driver though.'

'No problem. When?'

'Tuesday.'

'And today is?' Dean asked and Nick turned to look at his computer calendar. 'Wednesday? Why so long?'

'You don't want people asking lots of questions Dean, despite your precautions they could track you down and then what? Actually that's a good question, what are you going to do for a body once you've got Sam out?' Nick asked and felt Dean mentally pause.

'I could use Sam but I don't know if that's mess him up more.....Guess I'll have to figure that out. Shift change yet?' Dean asked and Nick laughed but got up.

\-----------------------------  
Dean signed the paperwork and winked at a nearby Nick who nodded slightly. He then grabbed the gurney Sam was lying on and pushed it out to the van, using his vessel's knowledge to make sure Sam was secure. He then got in and drove off. He was surprised by the thought that he'd miss Nick, for someone playing host to a demon the guy was pretty fun and very helpful. He drove the van to the prearranged spot and parked it. He got out and unstrapped Sam, easily lifting him and carrying him over to the waiting car. He secured him and then left his host on the gurney to let the poor guy sleep off the affects of being possessed. It had taken some though and help from Nick but sitting in the driver's seat was a body that had been declared brain dead the day before. Dean slipped in and shuddered at the fact there was nothing else in there to either talk to or suppress. Since the body was empty it didn't matter how hard he used it so he drove through until he reached the house.

He took a quick look around before carrying Sam inside and then decided he might as well get bath time out of the way while he had Sam up. Experimentally he sat Sam up on the closed toilet, hovering just in case but Sam didn't fall from where he was leaned back, his head touching the wall. He ran the bath and then stripped Sam out of the hospital gown and carried him over to the bath. He washed him gently and then made sure to move all his limbs like Nick had shown him to keep them limber. He froze as a saw a finger twitch on its own and looked at Sam's face. His eyes were still looking through him but there was something...

"That's it Sam, keep working at it. I'm waiting for you to come back little brother." Dean said. He got Sam out of the bath, dried off and redressed and then settled him onto the hospital bed set up in a nearby room. He bit his lip as he stared at his unmoving brother. Should he...Decision made he pulled Sam's shirt down to reveal his tattoo and then very carefully cut a thin line through it with a scalpel that had been among the medical supplies. Once that was done he sat down and then left the body he was in to hover over Sam for a second. Would this do more harm than good? But if he could reach Sam's mind...he plunged down and into Sam.

'Sammy?' He called out hesitantly as he entered.

TBC...


	2. 2

'Sammy?' Dean called and then shivered, everything was dark and there was no answer to his call. It was unnerving and a bit too much like parts of hell for his liking but he made himself continue. He refused to believe there was nothing of Sam left...it couldn't be true, Sam had moved when he'd first showed up after all. He dove deeper into Sam's mind, searching for any sign of Sam but it just got darker the further he went and Dean hoped he wasn't doing more damage to the kid. He pushed on as gently as he could and then...he plunged deeper in and then slammed into something. It was a barrier inside Sam's mind. He calmed and then looked past it only to scream in horror. 'Sam!!!' But Sam couldn't hear him.

All Dean could do was watched, horrified, as his death was replied repeatedly. Had Sam been living those ten minutes over and over for the last three years? No wonder he was locked up, the poor kid. That was a torture to match some used in Hell! He flung himself against the barrier continually, trying to reach Sam but it was useless. He didn't know how long he tried until finally retreating.

'I'll be back Sammy, promise. I'll get you out of there somehow.' He swore as he soared through Sam's mind until he was looking out of Sam's eyes. Figuring Sam needed a healthy body when he woke Dean pushed himself upright only to nearly collapse. Despite the exercises done by therapists Sam's muscles were all but gone. So Dean spent some time making Sam's body move and stretch before making sure he was comfortable and then returning to the other body. He then got up and went over to tuck Sam in and then prepare his food. Mush was the only way to describe it but he figured he could slowly get Sam onto solids if he was the one in control during meals.

\-------------------  
Dean gently bathed Sam, taking his time to make sure Sam was nice and clean. He kept Sam in the water as long as possible since he figured the warm water could only help him. He'd called Nick the other day, wanting another opinion on Sam's mental state. He'd been shocked to hear what Sam was witnessing nonstop inside his own mind but had promised to search medical journals for anything that could help snap him out of the loop. It was...kind of nice to know they weren't completely alone even though the doc had to be careful he wasn't caught. Plus he had his own family to look after and all.

He poured some water over Sam's head, careful not to get any suds in Sam's eyes as he rinsed the shampoo out. Some water slipped into Sam's mouth and he gurgled, making Dean start. He leant Sam forward so the water would drip out and it did but that sound...Sam had never done that when Dean fed him.

"Sammy? Sorry about that kiddo. Guess suds don't taste too good." Dean said, chuckling a little. He made sure to talk to Sam, hoping his words would get a reaction. He knew he didn't sound like he used to but he hoped his tone and the words would reach Sam. He smiled as he saw a finger twitch slightly; those small movements gave him hope that some part of Sam could hear him, despite the fact that when he possessed him the barrier was as strong as ever. Even if Sam woke up, would he be sane after so long?

As soon as he entered he realised something was different, Sam's mind was.......a little lighter maybe? He headed for the barrier but then paused and listened, had he heard something.

'Dean...............Dean..........Dean................'

'Sam? Sammy can you hear me?' He called anxiously.

'Dean...............Dean..........Dean................' The call continued without change and Dean's spirits fell but at least Sam's mind wasn't so silent anymore. Though that could get a little annoying after a while. He headed for the barrier and got to watch his death on instant replay for a while, pondering how Sam had survived Lilith's light attack. He remembered her now; he was surprised he could have forgotten the bitch's name.

'Come on Sam, let me in kiddo. I can't help you if you want give me any hints!' He pleaded before going to the front and starting Sam's exercises for the day. He had managed to get to the point where he could make Sam's body stand for a few seconds without over straining his body and he could now eat soup and sandwiches. He'd weighed Sam and the kid had but on a whole pound of the weight he had lost over the years. So Dean figured he was doing good in the physical department and he finally seemed to be getting somewhere with Sam's mind, at least he hoped he was. He left Sam and went back to the body he was using, tucking Sam in for the night. He froze when Sam's head moved in his direction but the hazel eyes were still blank and then Sam's whole hand twitched. Dean reached out and took the hand, squeezing gently but there was nothing in return.

"Come on Sammy; try to squeeze my hand, please. You're looking right at me, try to focus." Dean asked but there was nothing and he finally let go and finished settling Sam in for the night. Demons didn't need to sleep so he sat up and pulled out the laptop he'd gotten to do more research into their lives for things he'd forgotten, like the fact he was wanted by the FBI for things he had no clue about.

\------------------------  
Dean kept up a constant stream of chatter as he made the bed, Sam was reclining in the chair Dean used, it was kind of hard to make it so Sam wouldn't fall out of the chair but if he got the angle right the kid would stay fairly upright. He fixed the bed up and then decided to try something different. He looped an arm around Sam's waist and gently lifted so Sam was standing upright. Sam's head lolled to the side and his legs just folded under him so Dean scooped him up and carried him back to the bed. He'd kind of hoped that Sam's body would know what to do and stand now that he had the muscle tone and strength to do so but it was not to be. He lay Sam down and then blinked as Sam's arm jerked and nearly hit him.

"Sorry, did I do something to annoy you Sam?" Dean asked though he knew there'd be no response, still that was the biggest movement yet. He sat down in the chair and then left the body, he still didn't really think of it as his, hovering over Sam for a second and watching for a reaction but there was none. Then again did he really want Sam to see his demon form and freak out? He slipped as gently as possible into Sam's body and then into his mind.

'Dean....Dean.....come back......Dean......come back....Dean......' Sam's soul or mind or whatever cried out and Dean was happy to pick up the new words. Extra words were good; you had to think to form words, right?

'I'm here Sam, answer me please.' He called but there was no answer, just the same words repeated continuously. He reached the barrier and pushed against only to freeze as he sort of slipped through. He looked around and then down, finding he looked exactly like the Dean on the floor, only less bloody. 'Sammy?' He called tentatively but there was no reaction from the Sam holding Dean's dead body. He could do nothing as the scene once again reset and started again. But at least he could get through the barrier now. Maybe he could possess his other self? Figuring he had nothing to lose he stepped into the other Dean and raised a hand, sure enough the memories hand moved. 'Sammy?' He tried again and Sam tilted his head, still crying. 'Sam listen to me, this isn't real. You're trapped in your memory of my death but this happened over three years ago. You need to wake up okay?'

'Dean? I don't understand.' Sam choked out and the clock struck midnight. 'No please no.' Sam cried and Dean walked over, wrapping his arms around his brother, smiling when Sam hugged him back.

'Sammy it's okay, I've got you. Please wake up.' Dean begged as he heard the hounds approach. Sam just stared at him, bewildered as the memory of Lilith or whoever she was spoke. 'I know you can do it, it'll be hard but I believe in you, I always have and I always will. Please Sam, wake up.' Dean pleaded and then he was flung out of the memory, shocking him. He blinked Sam's eyes and then tentatively called out. 'Sam?' But there was no answer. He went through the normal routine and actually managed a lap around the room before sitting down to eat the pre-prepared meal of soup, salad and sandwich. The fact he'd been able to talk to Sam was good, as long as it was really Sam or at least a part of him.

\----------------------  
Dean was bathing Sam when his whole body jerked, sending water everywhere and nearly sending Dean into the tub.

"Sam!" he called panicked, as he tried to keep Sam's head above water. Sam jerked again and then was still in his arms and Dean took a deep breath. "Easy kiddo, you're okay." He soothed as he checked Sam over for injuries. "Sammy?" He called and then grinned as Sam's head moved slowly, but with a lot more control than he'd seen, until he was staring at Dean although his eyes weren't focused. "That's great Sam, can you squeeze my hand?" He asked and event the lack of movement didn't sadden him. "Can you give me some sort of sign here if you can hear me? I know I sound different and it's probably confusing but it's okay. I'm here little brother." Dean said and Sam blinked and then, to his joy, made a strangled sounding sort of noise. "That's great Sam. How about we get you out of the tube before you end up a giant prune?" He lifted Sam out and set to work drying and redressing him, noticing that Sam's eyelids were drooping sleepily. "You get some sleep Sammy, I'll still be here." He soothed and Sam's eyes shut.

TBC...


	3. 3

Dean looked up from his research to see Sam was awake. He smiled and gently ran his fingers through the dark brown mess Sam called hair only to blink in surprise as Sam's head moved as if to follow his hand.

"Morning Sammy." Dean greeted and to his joy Sam's eyes seemed to be struggling to focus on him. "That's it Sam, I'm right here. You can do it." He encouraged and for a second Sam's eyes focused on him, beautiful hazel showing a brief flash of confusion before going dull again. But Dean didn't let that worry him because even if it was only for a very brief moment, Sam had been with him. He fed Sam his breakfast and went through some exercises before running the bath. For some reason Sam was more likely to move while in the water and sure enough he moved, this time his leg jerked a bit in the water. He massaged Sam while washing him and then dried him off before getting ready to possess him.

'Dean....come back....need you.....Dean.....' Sam's mental voice called and Dean felt happy at the extra words.

'I'm here Sammy.' He called back as he headed in deeper. He reached the barrier and slipped through it to find that things had changed a little since last time. For starters Sam's mind was a lot brighter than when he'd first started possessing him and now his death wasn't being played in rerun but in broken sequences with Sam sort of watching on in confusion. 'Sammy?' He called and Sam looked around but didn't seem able to see him so Dean once again possessed his memory self. 'Can you hear me kiddo?' He asked softly and then he had a crying Sam in his arms. 'Hey, it's alright, I'm here.' He soothed as he held Sam close. Sam clung to him, sobbing in his arms. 'Sam? Can you talk to me?'

'Dean? Don't leave me please.' Sam sobbed and Dean tightened his grip.

'Never. I'm here Sammy.'

'But you're dead, you died and I saw it.'

'I know Sam but I'm here now, I promise. Look it's....you know what happened after I died?' Dean asked gently and Sam finally loosened his grip enough that Dean could gently tilt the kids head so that they were looking at each other.

'You had to go to hell and it's all my fault.' Sam whispered shakily.

'I did but it was never your fault Sammy, I chose to make that deal and I'd do it again to save you.'

'Then you're not here, this is just a dream.' Sam began to struggle in his arms but Dean held on, gently kissing Sam's forehead.

'Shhh, this isn't a dream Sam. Can you listen to me kiddo?' He asked and Sam slowly nodded. 'Sam, everything you're seeing in here...it happened over three years ago. I went to hell and you ended up in an institution. When I found you...you hadn't made a voluntary movement since before you were admitted.'

'But, you died.' Sam insisted and Dean nodded.

'Sam do you remember what happens to souls that go to hell?' He asked quietly and Sam screamed, shaking his head wildly. 'Sam calm down! Its okay, it's okay.'

'No! No, no, no, no....' Sam broke off as sobs overwhelmed him and all Dean could do was hold him.

"Hey, come on Sam. Take some deep breaths. It's gonna be okay Sam, I love you kiddo. I know....I know and understand if you don't want me around anymore but I'll never hurt you. In hell, they torture you, to make you forget being human until you're filled with rage and hate. But they couldn't make me forget you and I could never hate you.' Dean whispered and Sam stared at him in horror.

'Demon.....' He choked out and Dean nodded sadly, gently cupping Sam's face and wiping his tears away with his thumbs. 'Where........where are we? What do you want?' Sam asked shakily and Dean smiled at him.

'All I want is for you to get better Sam. Where we are's a bit more complicated but...we're in your mind Sam. For the last three years you've been trapped in a mental loop of my death.' Dean explained, waiting for Sam to realise what that meant.

'My mind...I'm possessed! Please no, not again. I don't want to hurt anyone.' Sam begged and Dean sat down, pulling Sam into his lap to hold gently.

'Sam listen to me, I don't know how much longer we'll be able to talk, last time I got thrown out of here. You've been institutionalised for the last three years; I've only gotten your body walking around the last few months. I don't possess you all the time, just to try and reach you and then I make sure you're eating and exercising. We've got a nice house in the middle of nowhere; it's just the two of us. The body I'm using is just that, a body. The guy was pronounced brain dead before I started using it. All I could think about when I got out was finding you and making sure you were okay. You've got to wake up Sam, you tried earlier, I saw your eyes focus for a second this morning. And you've been moving more on your own too. I don't know if you'll remember any of this when you wake up but I'll be there when you do, even though it won't look like me.'

'Demons lie...you can't be Dean.' Sam argued weakly and Dean just stared down at him sadly.

'I love you Sammy.' He whispered before he was once again shoved out of Sam's mind and into the darkness.

\---------------------------------  
Dean gently bathed Sam, a part of him longing to go back into the kids mind but he figured Sam needed time to think over what he'd said last time, if Sam even remembered. And he didn't want to go through that over and over again. So he'd simply helped exercise Sam's body from the outside for the last few days. He washed the baby shampoo from Sam's hair and then flung out an arm to keep himself from ending up face first in the water as Sam went wild. He was flailing around in the water and Dean lunged but wasn't fast enough to keep Sam from going under. He yanked Sam up and supported him as he coughed and spat out bathwater. Hazel eyes searched the room wildly as Sam's body shook.

"Dean!" Sam cried out, his voice hoarse from swallowing water.

"Easy Sam, I'm here." He said, holding Sam against him as his brother got his bearings. Sam looked at him and then jerked away.

"Who?"

"Sam, it's me Dean."

"C...Christo." Sam whispered and Dean flinched away, his eyes going black. "No, no. Get away!" Sam screamed, trying to get out of the tub but unused to moving around so his movements were clumsy and uncoordinated. Dean lunged, grabbing him and pulling him, fighting, from the tub. He ignored the hits Sam landed and carried him into the bedroom, lying him down on the bed and then using one hand to gently rub his back as he remembered doing when Sam was little. Instinctively Sam began to calm at the familiar gesture and Dean just smiled down at him as Sam stared up fearfully.

"It's okay Sam, I'm not going to hurt you. I know I'm a demon now but I'm still your brother. You were the only thing I could hold onto in hell. I don't blame you for not believing it's me but I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you." Dean told him firmly yet gently and Sam slowly began to calm down.

"Bobby.....where's Bobby?" Sam asked and Dean frowned. He didn't know who that was but he was more worried about Sam's disjointed speech.

"Sam I...I don't know who that is? You're the only one I remember." Dean admitted sadly and Sam bit his lip. "Is he a relative or something?" Dean asked and Sam shook his head.

"Friend." Sam admitted and Dean frowned, wasn't Bobby short for something?

"Wait a second, Bobby...Robert...Singer?" he asked and Sam nodded, watching him closely. "You were admitted as Samuel Singer and the only name listed under visitors was a Robert Singer. I saw him once and he looked kind of familiar but...I still don't remember him.

"No memories....how...find me?" Sam asked and Dean knew he was being tested but that was okay, he wouldn't expect anything else from the kid.

"I can feel you Sammy, I just followed that to the institution and then hit the vents since I was sort of bodiless at the time. Guess this Bobby guy was the one that warded your room, made visiting a pain." Dean answered, still gently rubbing Sam's back. Sam tried to sit up and failed so Dean helped him, ignoring the small flinch.

"Why can't...."

"Sam you've been, well....way I put it when I saw you was the lights being on but nobody home. For over three years you never moved unless someone moved you so you lost muscle mass and stuff. I've been working on it since getting you out but you're gonna have to get used to moving around again. At least you're up to solid foods now, you were on baby mush originally." Dean told him and Sam pulled a face before yawning, making Dean chuckle. "Get some sleep kiddo, I promise you're safe and I'll be here when you wake up." Dean said, running gentle fingers through Sam's hair. The action was so familiar that Sam leant into it before freezing and looking up at Dean with wide eyes. "It's okay Sam." Dean whispered, pulling the blankets up around him since he suddenly noticed Sam was still naked. Sam shifted sleepily, trying to stay awake to watch him but his sudden awakening had drained his energy and sleep soon claimed him.

TBC...


	4. 4

Sam slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He felt confused and sort of out of sync with his body as he struggled to remember what was happening. He was in a hospital bed but the room liked like a normal bedroom. He tried to sit up only to make it half way and then collapse, groaning a little. As if drawn by the sound a figure entered the room and Sam tensed.

"You awake Sam?" The voice made the memories slam into him and he recoiled from the demon. "Whoa! Take it easy kiddo." The demon tried to sooth, gently moving Sam so he was back on the pillow and then raising the head of the bed. The demon possessed body sat on the side of the bed as if content to simply study him. It freaked him out and yet.....there was something in the eyes, brown instead of green, that seemed to scream Dean. Sam whimpered in distress and the demon's reaction was pure Dean, gently cradling him and whispering that everything was going to be okay, that Dean would protect him and it hurt so much. Because if this was Dean then Sam had failed, he had failed his brother. Sam choked back a sob and the demon began gently rubbing his back.

"Not real." Sam sobbed and the demon hugged him tenderly.

"I'm real Sammy. I'm here and I'm never leaving you again." The demon whispered in his ear.

\-------------------------  
Dean watched Sam sleep, his heart breaking for the kid. Sam was confused and scared and Dean understood why, he honestly did, but it still hurt every time Sam flinched from him or said he wasn't Dean. Should he try and find this Bobby guy for help? But if he was a hunter how could Dean get him to listen and not try to exorcise him? He just wanted his Sam back but the kid wasn't getting any better. But maybe....

"Hey Nick, did that Singer guy leave contact details?" He asked the good doctor over the phone. "Thanks. Baby born yet?" He asked and then smiled. "Really? That's great. What'd you name her?" Dean asked happily, Nick was now the proud father of a baby girl. "Deanna? After me....wow. that's.....thanks. Yeah, I'll call back in a few hours." Dean hung up, still smiling, not noticing the confused hazel watching him.

\-----------------------  
Dean looked at the run down looking place and felt a brief flash of....something. had he been here before? He could feel the wards on the place and felt the urge to run but if this would help Sammy... He slowly made his way to the porch and then up the stairs, knocking shakily. The door opened and he found himself facing the gruff man he'd seen at the institute.

"Bobby Singer?" He asked and the man nodded, staring suspiciously. "Please hear me out, I mean no harm." He said and then blinked, his eyes going black for a second. The man reacted instantly, aiming a shotgun at him and Dean held his hands up. "Whoa! Take it easy, I need your help, please. It's about Sam Winchester." Dean rushed out, he knew that shotgun was loaded with salt and it would hurt a lot, despite not doing permanent damage.

"Why should I listen to a demon?" The man snarled and Dean stepped back slightly.

"Because....I think I used to know you." He answered softly. "I'm Dean Winchester." He said and the hunter's grip tightened on the trigger. "Please, I know you have no reason to believe me but I am Dean. Sam said I know you but...he's all I remember." Dean pleaded with the angry hunter.

"Sam's missing, even if he wasn't he has spoken since Dean died."

"I know, I got him out, got us a place where I could look after him. He's awake now though he's not fully better. I...I was hoping seeing you might help him." Dean said and the shotgun lowered slightly.

"You lying son of a bitch!" Bobby snarled, stepping outside the protection of the wards and Dean moved, trapping Bobby's arms at his side. Bobby tried to fight him but was no match for Dean's demonic strength.

"I'm not going to hurt you!" Dean yelled and then they were inside his house and Dean released him. He held his hands up as Bobby stared around. "You want to see Sam?" Dean asked and then backed into the bedroom. Bobby followed slowly and then dropped the shotgun.

"Sam!" He yelled and Sam groaned, his eyes fluttering open much to Bobby's shock. Sam looked at him and his eyes widened before he smiled and reached out.

"Bobby." Sam called and the hunter moved to his side, taking Sam's hand. Bobby gripped Sam's hand tightly and Sam gripped his back, though not as strongly.

"I don't believe it...Christo." He said just to be sure and the demon flinched away but there was no reaction from Sam. "Oh my God...you're really awake." Bobby muttered and Sam smiled at him.

"Awake Bobby." Sam answered, looking around the room. He bit his lip as he spotted the Dean. "Don't hurt...Bobby." He said to Dean and Dean nodded.

"Wasn't going to, I...I thought he could help you get better." Dean answered, smiling gently.

"What do you want with us?" Bobby demanded and Dean looked down.

"Nothing. I just want Sam to get better." He answered and Bobby snorted.

"Like I believe that."

"Damn it Bobby!" Dean snapped and both Sam and Bobby froze, eyes wide as they stared at him. Dean blinked and pressed a hand to his head in pain.

"Dean...." Bobby whispered and then shook himself. It couldn't be, but that reaction, it was so much like the boy he'd thought of as a son. "How can you expect us to believe you're Dean. You're a demon and demon's lie." Bobby forced his voice to remain steady and Dean wandered over to the window.

"I don't know how to prove it. I know nothing I say will help cause I spilled everything down there...I tried to keep quiet but the pain....all I could cling to was Sam, he was all that kept me at least partially sane. Without Sam I'd be like the others, consumed by rage and hate and I don't want to be like that." Dean whispered and Sam looked up at Bobby with tears in his eyes, begging the hunter to help.

"Tell me everything you remember." Bobby demanded and Dean nodded.

"It's time for Sam's lunch though. I'll get it first." Dean said and Bobby glared. "I've been looking after him for the last year, I haven't hurt him and I'm not going to." Dean grumbled, heading for the kitchen and Bobby sat on the edge of the bed.

"You okay kid?" Bobby asked and Sam nodded. "I've missed you Sam, I was so worried when you vanished from the institute. I tried to find you but nothing worked." Bobby told him and Sam squeezed his hand.

"Okay. How...what...after Dean." Sam asked and Bobby frowned at Sam's broken speech.

"By the time I got into the house you were sitting on the floor holding Dean's body. I tried to talk to you but you didn't react, then I tried to take Dean and you just started screaming. Got you both out of there but....you just shut down. I tried to look after you Sam, I did, but....I'm sorry." Bobby explained.

"Not...fault. Sorry being pain." Sam answered and Bobby reached out to ruffle his hair.

"You're not a pain Sam." Bobby assured the broken young man.

"Dean...is he?" Sam asked and Bobby sighed.

"I don't know Sam, everything I know says it's impossible and yet..."

"Acts...Dean." Sam finished for him and Bobby nodded.

"He's been treating you well?" Bobby asked and Sam nodded as Dean walked back in with a tray of sandwiches and a bowl of soup. Dean went to the other side of the bed to Bobby and put the tray on the swinging table attached to the bed, setting it in front of Sam.

"Made extra if you're hungry Bobby." Dean stated as he lifted the mug for Sam and Sam started to drink slowly. Bobby watched them before eventually taking a sandwich for himself. He didn't trust the demon, it had to be planning something, even if it used to be Dean, whom he wasn't sure he believed anyway, but for now it was best to go along with things. All he had was a salt filled shotgun and Sam who he doubted was up for a fight.

"So?" Bobby pushed when the food was finally gone. Dean sat beside Sam, cleaning away the crumbs gently but he nodded.

"Earliest thing I remember is someone placing baby Sam in my arms and there was a fire or something." Dean slowly went over everything he remembered and Bobby and Sam listened intently. The only person in the memories Dean could describe or name was Sam which made some of them hard to place but Bobby realised he was the one being mentioned a few times. When he spoke about the Hellhounds, Sam cried out and Dean pulled him into his arms, kissing the top of his head softly. "Hey, it's okay, I'm back Sammy." Dean whispered. Sam looked up at him, tears in his eyes and Dean gently wiped them away.

"Hell." Sam said and Dean nodded.

"I remember it, the never ending torture and despair. Gradually losing what made me human, all except you." Dean whispered. "Love you Sammy."

Bobby watched the demon and the way it reacted to Sam's distress and it was such a Dean reaction, when he had his mask down. The way the demon acted was like the true Dean, not the Dean he showed the world. Was it possible? Bobby hoped so for Sam's sake because if it wasn't....Bobby had a feeling nothing would be able to save the kid from his own mind again.

TBC...


	5. 5

Bobby watched as the demon gently helped Sam back into the bedroom from his daily bath. Three days and nothing bad had happened, the demon hadn't even gotten rid of his shotgun or anything. It seemed solely focused on Sam and his needs. Bobby knew he was being tolerated for Sam's sake so he was being very careful about anything he said or did, the last thing he needed was to piss it off and be sent away or killed. There'd be no one to help Sam if that happened. He forced himself to ignore the part of his heart that cried out the demon was Dean; he had to stay alert and suspicious for Sam's sake if not his own.

The demon helped Sam back onto the bed, smiling softly as it arranged the sheets and fluffed Sam's pillow for him. Sam just stared up at it curiously, he'd stopped flinching after crying when the demon recounted Dean's life and that worried Bobby. He knew Sam still wasn't fully...right in the head yet, was he starting to believe the demon was Dean? Sam's speech was still disjointed and he was uncoordinated although he was regaining strength. Bobby watched as the demon sat with Sam until he was asleep and then it motioned him from the room. He hesitated but followed it to the kitchen.

"His speech isn't getting any better, is it?" The demon asked and Bobby shook his head. He watched as it ran a hand through its hair and then grabbed a cell phone. Bobby watched as he hit speed dial and then put it to his ear. "Hey Nick, how's little Deanna?" The demon asked and then smiled. "Really? That's great! Actually I was wondering if you could spare a day? I'd like Sam to have a check up if you could...thanks. Yeah, I'll pick you up so don't bring anything easily friable. See you soon." The demon hung up and turned to Bobby. "I'm gonna go pick Nick up, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Who's Nick?" Bobby asked and the demon smiled.

"Doctor from the place you had Sammy in, he helped me get him out." The demon answered, going back into Sam's room to check he was still asleep before he vanished. Bobby looked around, searching for salt but there was none. The demon wasn't stupid. He nearly jumped as a sound came from Sam's room and he bolted back to it.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." He heard a male voice complain. He stepped into the room to see the demon with a man in dress pants and a buttoned shirt, a black backpack slung over a shoulder.

"It wasn't that bad." The demon grumbled and the man rolled his eyes before looking over to the bed. "He's still asleep, he sleeps a lot actually." The demon stated sadly.

"That's normal Dean." The man answered as he finally straightened up and put his bag down only to finally spot Bobby. "Hi, saw you at the hospital a few times. Doctor Nickolas Bryant." Nick held his hand out to Bobby.

"Christo."Bobby said and the demon flinched away but Nick didn't.

"That's what this is to stop, right?" He undid a few buttons to show the familiar tattoo over his heart. "Got it after Dean left using a photo of Sam's." He stopped talking when there was movement from the bed. Hazel eyes slowly opened only to go wide when their owner spotted the stranger. Sam struggled to sit up and the demon was instantly at his side, helping him.

"Who?" Sam asked and Nick smiled at him.

"Hi Sam, I'm Doctor Nickolas Bryant, I work at the hospital you were in. I'm just here to give you a check up, make sure you're doing okay." Nick told him and Sam stared at him before his gaze went to Bobby and then the demon.

"Demon?" Sam asked nervously and Nick showed him the tattoo.

"Just like yours Sam." He assured and Sam relaxed a little.

"Why helping?" Sam asked and Nick frowned at the way he worded the question.

"Well partly it's my job and Dean sort of grew on my. Like a mould really." Nick muttered with a quick grin for Sam who actually laughed a little.

"Ha ha." The demon grumbled.

"Jerk." Sam stated and Bobby watched the demon smile.

"Bitch." The answer made Bobby close his eyes and take a deep breath.

"Okay Sam I need to do a few tests, ask some questions. You okay with that? I won't be recording any of it for the hospital, just for your record." Nick explained and Sam looked at the demon and Bobby.

"It's a good idea Sam, as long as this guy is on the up and up." Bobby answered. Nick rolled his eyes and pulled out his hospital credentials, tossing them over to the paranoid hunter who looked them over closely before tossing them back.

"Okay everyone out but the patient." Nick shooed them out and then picked his bag up. He placed it on a chair and pulled out a stethoscope and a pad of paper. "Nothing invasive, just checking your heart, lungs, reflexes, things like that, okay Sam?" Nick asked and Sam nodded shakily. "It's good to see you awake, hate to say it but your doctors had written you off by the time I saw your chart." Nick told him as he checked Sam's pulse and blood pressure.

"Not my doc?" Sam asked and Nick shook his head as he continued checking Sam over.

"Nope. I worked a different ward then one day this cloud of black smoke came through my office vent. Scared the hell out of me at first."

"Possessed?" Sam asked, eyes wide and Nick nodded.

"Yeah, it wasn't that bad. All Dean wanted to do was check on you, make sure you were okay. We chatted a lot, it was a bit weird but he was only in me when he came to see you. Apparently possession isn't too good for the person being possessed. I helped him fake the patient transfer to get you out. You know the first time we walked into your room, you moved your head, first voluntary movement you'd made since before being admitted. It was like you knew he was there."

"You like?" Sam asked and Nick frowned before getting what Sam was asking.

"Hey, I named my new baby girl after him." Nick answered and Sam smiled.

"Cute?"

"The cutest." He pulled out his wallet and held up a picture making Sam's smile widen.

"Very cute. What wrong me?" Sam asked as his smile faded and Nick sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sam...you have to realise that recovery is going to take time. The fact that you woke up at all is amazing. Dean's been working on your physical therapy; we'll add speech therapy to it as well. You don't seem to be having problems understanding things which is good."

"Permanent?" Sam asked fearfully and Nick shrugged.

"I honestly don't know. There's no way to know until you start the therapy. If there's no improvement or you stop progressing all together at some point then we'll be able to say." Nick explained and Sam looked away. "I know this is hard Sam but you have to keep your spirits up. It'll be a lot of hard work but I hear you used to go to Stanford so you should be used to working hard." Nick told him and Sam finally nodded.

"Really Dean? Want but hard." Sam chewed his lip, looking down again.

"I only know what I learnt when he was in my head. I know that he was scared for you and that he loves you. He believes he's Dean Winchester. I wouldn't have helped if I didn't believe he just wants to help you." Nick told him and then stood. "I'll let them know we're done."

"Why sleepy?"

"Sam your mind went through a serious trauma and you're trying to get used to being up and around again. Sleeping a lot is normal." Nick assured him as he left the room.

"Is he okay?" Dean demanded immediately and Nick smiled.

"Considering everything he's been through he's doing well. I'd like to get him started on some speech therapy, see if that helps any." Nick told them.

"If?" Bobby asked and Nick sighed.

"Honestly...it's possible there's some permanent damage. Without putting him through every test there's no way to be sure and he's listed as missing, we can't just take him for scans. Without that therapy's the best option. He's fully aware and able to understand so that's a good sign." Nick explained.

"What's this therapy involve exactly?" Bobby asked and Nick shrugged.

"Nothing too complicated, I can show you both." He said and they both nodded.

\-------------------  
"So the guy you're possessing...he willing?" Bobby asked and the demon turned to face him.

"No. He's brain dead. I'm the only one in here." Was the answer. "Kind of weird really, I got used to chatting with Nick and then trying to get through to Sammy. Not used to being alone in here." The demon pointed to its head.

"Prove it." Bobby demanded and the demon looked at him before shrugging and sitting in a chair. He opened his mouth and the familiar demonic smoke poured out of the man's mouth. Bobby stepped back automatically but the smoke didn't approach. It moved away from the body and Bobby approached to check the man over. Sure enough the body was dead. He backed away and the smoke re-entered the body. The demon blinked and then looked at him.

"Satisfied?" He asked and Bobby nodded. "Good." He stood up and went back to looking over the information Nick had left them.

Bobby watched him closely as he studied what they needed to help Sam with his talking. He really didn't know what to believe. The doctor...the way he acted around Sam...was it possible?

TBC...


	6. 6

Bobby watched as the demon patiently went through the exercises with Sam, staying calm no matter how frustrated Sam got. Watching them together like that...it was like watching Dean and Sam as children with Dean trying to teach Sam something. Seeing him like that, it made it a lot easier to think that maybe, just maybe the demon was telling the truth about being Dean. Every day was the same with the demon going over Sam's physical and mental exercises, helping the kid bathe, all that. It was nice; the demon had even gone out and gotten Bobby research material so he wasn't bored.

"Sam it's okay." Dean soothed, ignoring the way Bobby hovered just outside the room.

"No." Sam answered stubbornly, staring down at his hands.

"Sammy come on. You heard Nick, it's gonna take time." Dean encouraged him.

"Want better now." Sam insisted and Dean sighed, putting the cards aside and moving to sit on the edge of the bed and gently stroke through Sam's hair. Sam remained tense for a few moments but then slowly relaxed.

"I know you do kiddo but you have to work at it. Hey, you're getting stronger every day. You managed to walk to the kitchen yesterday and that's a big improvement." Dean told him and Sam nodded sullenly. Dean smiled and picked up the card again, noticing Bobby grinning and then leaving.

 

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Bobby looked up as the demon joined him, flopping into the chair opposite him.

"Need anything from town?" He asked and Bobby shut his book.

"Salt?"

"Ha ha. Will...will you ever give me a chance Bobby?" The demon asked and Bobby glared.

"Even if you were Dean, you're a demon now. Demon's don't care about anyone or anything." Bobby answered stiffly and the demon sighed.

"Only way I can think to prove it you'd never agree to." The demon grumbled and Bobby raised an eyebrow making the demon stare at him until he got it. The only way was to let the demon possess him. But if he did that there was no way to guarantee the demon would leave him again. "There's a spell...it'd put a time limit on how long I'd be there. It's just a thought. Anyway, is there anything you want? More books or something?" the demon asked and Bobby nodded.

"If you could get a laptop or something? Could give Sam something to do as well. And let me look this spell over. If...and it's highly unlikely but if I agreed to it then we need enough salt for a circle round me during it." Bobby told him and the demon nodded.

"I'll write it out and then head to the shops."

 

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Bobby stared at the demon as he finished the spell. He was nervous but refusing to show it. He'd triple checked the spell and it would work, the demon would have only a few minutes inside him but it should be enough. The demon stepped over to him and Bobby finished the salt circle.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Bobby answered and then demon nodded, it's vessels mouth opened and the familiar smoke exited. Bobby fought the urge to step out of the circle as the cloud slowly approached him. He swallowed and then opened his mouth, fighting the urge to choke as it poured down his throat.

'Bobby?' A voice called and he flinched but his body didn't move and he fought down the panic. 'It's okay, you're safe.' The demon soothed gently, slowly wrapping itself closer around Bobby. He forced himself to relax and then he felt the demon's mind opening to him, drawing him in. He felt the demon shielding him from something and he realised it was the memories of hell but he found himself seeing Sam growing from a baby to an adult and he could feel the love and devotion aimed at the youngest Winchester. By the time the demon left him Bobby had tears trailing down his cheeks and he fell to his knees, gentle hands barely bracing him. "Bobby?" the demon called and he looked up at brown eyes.

"Dean." Bobby whispered and those eyes widened before Dean smiled. He then gasped in shock as Bobby yanked him into a brief hug. "Welcome back kid." Bobby whispered and Dean hugged him back.

"Mind breaking the circle? We should get back to Sammy." Dean said and Bobby nodded, reaching down to run his hand through the salt. Dean helped him up and they headed in to find Sam sitting beside the window, basking in the sun.

"Hey Sammy." Dean called and Sam looked up at them, smiling slightly but then he frowned.

"Bobby okay?" Sam asked and Bobby grinned at him.

"I'm fine kiddo. We just had to do something to...it's Dean, Sam. It's really him." Bobby told him and Sam stared at them before focusing on Dean.

"Sure?" Sam asked and Bobby nodded. Sam smiled slowly and then reached for his brother. Dean moved closer and then wrapped his arms around Sam, hugging him. Sam clung to him as tightly as he could, tears filling his eyes at the confirmation that this was really his brother. "Dean." Sam sobbed and Dean tightened his grip.

"It's okay Sammy, I'm here." Dean whispered. "Not leaving you again." Dean promised and Sam pulled back to stare at him, reaching out to touch the black hair that was almost as long as Sam usually wore his. He could see Dean in the brown eyes, honestly he'd pretty much believed it was Dean for a while but it was nice that Bobby could say for sure.

"Hair too long, need cut." Sam teased and Dean laughed, even Bobby snickering.

"He's right you know. I can't believe you've put up with it." Bobby said and Dean shrugged.

"Didn't seem that important all things considered." Dean answered, still holding Sam close. Not that Sam was trying to get away, if anything he was trying to get closer.

 

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"Dean." Sam called and his brother walked into his room.

"Morning Sammy." Dean answered, putting his breakfast tray down on the table and then swung it in front of Sam. He watched as Sam shakily started to feed himself, just in case he needed help. His muscle control and strength was still improving though there hadn't been much improvement in his speech over the last month. "Got anything you want to do today?" He asked when Sam finally finished.

"I...I want ttt...to talk." Sam finally managed to get the sentence out and Dean smiled proudly.

"Okay, about what?" Dean asked, settling back in his seat. Sam bit his lip and Dean took his hand. "Take your time kiddo."

"What next? Can't sssstay here ever." Sam said and Dean shrugged.

"Honestly hadn't thought that far ahead. I just wanted you out, safe and healthy. This place was set up for the long term though, Nick made sure I knew it was possible you'd never wake up or be able to function out in the world. But you've blown away all expectations." Dean told him proudly and Sam smiled shyly. "I'd like us to never go back to hunting." Dean admitted and Sam frowned but then nodded.

"Why?"

"You've been out of the game for three years Sam, even if you get your strength and full muscle control back you're not getting any younger. I don't want to risk you. Maybe if something's in the same town as us I can take care of it but." Sam held a hand to Dean's mouth, making him stop talking.

"Okay. Not really want to hunt. But Lilith?"

"Lilith?" Dean asked frowning as he tried to remember.

"Deal demon, called hellhounds." Sam added and Dean remembered.

"What about her?" He asked.

"Wanted me dead. She...think, I..."

"Whoa Sammy, take it easy, calm down. Deep breaths, then try again." Dean whispered and Sam sucked in a few deep breaths, slowly calming down. "That's it, now what's this about Lilith?"

"Wants me dead. I think...think she there...was there." Sam said and Dean's eyes widened.

"Where Sammy? The hospital?" He asked in horror and Sam nodded.

"Remember...white room, bed, nurse white eyes. Put hand on head then here you." Sam told him and Dean closed his eyes; pulling Sam into his arms to reassure himself that Sam was with him and safe.

"She won't get you here Sam, me and Bobby'll make sure she can't get in." Dean promised, fighting down the rage that came with the knowledge of how close that bitch had gotten to his brother.

"No." Sam suddenly said and Dean frowned.

"Sam?" Dean questioned and Sam looked him in the eye.

"No go after her. Dangerous, won't lose you." Sam demanded and Dean had to smile, Sam knew him to well even after their time apart.

"I promise." Dean told him and Sam nodded, relaxing slowly again.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's wrong?" Bobby asked when he saw the way Dean was pacing.

"Lilith." Dean growled, his eyes flashing black for a second.

"What about her?" Bobby demanded.

"Sam woke up in the hospital Bobby." Dean told him, hands clenched into fists.

"But the doctors said..."

"She was there Bobby, she touched him and the next thing Sam remembers is being here with me." Dean explained and Bobby went white.

"How?" He whispered and Dean shrugged.

"Did you ward Sam's room straight away?" Dean asked and Bobby shook his head, closing his eyes in pain.

"They wouldn't let me in for a day, getting him settled and all that. Damn it! If I'd gone anyway..."

"It's not your fault Bobby."

"Sure it was Lilith?"

"Sam is. Said her eyes were white and she was in a nurse." Dean explained.

"We need to up the wards, means you might not be able to do your disappearing trick." Bobby told him and Dean nodded.

"If that keeps Sam safe then do it, I can drive."

TBC...


	7. 7

"Think that'll do it?" Bobby asked when they finally finished and Dean nodded.

"Should, I can't even nudge them so they should keep her out."

"Good. I never want you boys facing that bitch again. If Sam...it'd kill him to lose you again." Bobby told him as they walked back into the house. They'd made sure to do all the work whenever Sam was asleep to keep the kid from worrying and when Dean peeked in at him he smiled at finding Sam still out to it, half curled on his side and one of Dean's shirts in his hand. He slipped into the room and gently pulled the blanket up further, causing Sam's eyes to flutter open.

"Shh, just me Sammy, go back to sleep kiddo." Dean soothed, happy when Sam did as asked, showing just how well he'd adjusted to Dean's new body and voice. Dean slipped from the room and joined Bobby in what had become a small library since the hunter had joined them. "So...nobody back home to miss you?" Dean asked, needing to hear something. He'd found that he really hated silence since getting topside, too easy to hear the echoes of his own screams. Bobby gave him an odd look and Dean realised it was something he used to know.

"No. Haven't had much business lately either so the place can look after itself for a while." Bobby told him and Dean nodded, searching madly for something to talk about. "You've never liked the quiet boy, guess that hasn't changed." The older man grumbled, smirking slightly at him before flicking the radio on. Dean relaxed as the music filled the room, surprised to find he was humming along.

"I..." he looked at Bobby whose eyes turned sad.

"Don't remember this either?" The hunter asked and Dean shook his head. "Sam always complained about your love for 'mullet rock'. Used to drive the kid mad that you insisted on always listening to it." Bobby told him and Dean closed his eyes, letting the music wash over him and it seemed to stir something in him.

"Driver picks music, shotgun shuts cakehole." Dean's eyes shot open to see Sam clinging to the doorframe, smiling at him.

"Sammy?" Dean asked even as he got up to help Sam to a chair.

"Used to say that I complained." Sam told him and Dean smiled as Sam curled into him.

"Sounds good to me." Dean stated and Sam laughed.

"All done?" He asked, looking at them and Dean winced at getting caught but nodded.

"Yeah Sammy, no one's getting in here but the three of us." Dean told him and Sam nodded.

"Good."

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The near collision in the doorway to Sam's room would have been comical if it wasn't for Sam's screams filling the air. Dean grabbed Bobby, making sure he didn't fall before rushing to Sam's side. He gently held Sam's flailing limbs down so the kid didn't hurt himself and started calling to him softly, not wanting to startle him awake. Unfortunately that was what happened. Hazel eyes snapped open and Sam stared at him without really seeming to see him, his screams getting louder as he fought to get free of Dean's hold.

"Sammy it's okay. Look at me kiddo, you're safe." Dean soothed, feeling Bobby come up beside him to hold Sam's legs, freeing Dean to move up so he could cup Sam's face with one hand. "Deep breaths Sam, come on, just relax. I'm here." Dean whispered and slowly Sam began to relax, his eyes focussing on Dean.

"De..." Sam mumbled and Dean nodded, letting Sam's hands go as he went still. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through Sam's hair to offer comfort.

"I'm here Sammy, just relax. You were having a nightmare." Dean told him and Sam's head rolled on his pillow, too tired to actually shake it.

"Real." Sam murmured and Dean frowned.

"You mean a memory?" He asked and Sam whimpered. "Hey, it's okay." Dean soothed and Sam reached out sluggishly for him. Dean pulled him up into his arms, holding him gently. Sam snuggled into his arms and Dean shifted on the bed so that he was settled against the headboard. Dean looked at Bobby who nodded and left, going back to bed. Dean just held Sam, running his fingers through Sam's hair as the kid finally began to settle again.

"No sleep." Sam whispered tiredly and Dean just hugged him.

"It'll be okay Sammy; I'll wake you up if it looks like you're having a nightmare." Dean promised and Sam stared up at him trustfully before closing his eyes and resting his head over Dean's heart. It didn't take very long for him to fall asleep again. Dean just stayed there the rest of the night, holding Sam close and soothing him whenever it seemed like he might be starting to have a nightmare. It was almost nine before Sam started to show real signs of waking again and Dean smiled as sleepy hazel eyes fluttered open.

"Dean?"

"Morning Sammy." Dean told him, shifting his grip a bit so Sam could move but Sam stayed where he was. "No more nightmares?" Dean asked and Sam smiled at him, shaking his head. "Told you I'd stop them kiddo. What do you say to some breakfast?"

"Okay." Sam answered but still didn't move and Dean grinned, shifted his grip and then stood from the bed, Sam held securely in his arms. Sam's eyes went wide and his grip tightened on Dean but then relaxed when Dean began walking, easily holding his weight.

Bobby just shook his head in amusement when Dean walked into the kitchen, Sam held securely in his arms and seeming to enjoy the free ride. It was nice to see Sam so happy, even if Bobby himself still wasn't fully used to Dean's new look. If he'd had any idea Dean could come back he would have done everything he could to patch his body up and preserve it for him.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Shit." Bobby swore softly but it was enough to make Dean look over from where he was working with Sam on his speech. Seeing that Dean was distracted Sam looked over at Bobby too, wanting to know what was going on.

"Bobby?" Dean asked when the older man stayed silent and he turned the laptop towards Dean who walked over to look. Dean scanned the articles, frown deepening the more he read. "Lilith?" He asked too quietly for Sam to hear and Bobby nodded.

"Looks like it." He answered just as quietly and Dean chewed at his lip.

"Think she knows where we are?"

"Could be coincidence. And why come after us now? If she wanted Sam why not just kill him in the hospital? Why wait?" Dean asked and Bobby sighed.

"Could be that she couldn't. Only thing I got out of Sam before he fully shut down was that Lilith had tried to kill him after you died but it didn't work. Does she know you're out?"

"Probably, it wasn't exactly easy after all." Dean admitted, refusing to say anything else about it.

"Dean?" Sam called and Dean moved back over to him. "Wh...what wrong?" He asked, staring at Dean and the demon hesitated. "Dean." Sam demanded and Dean chuckled at his impatience before sobering.

"Sam...we may need to leave soon." Dean started gently and Sam frowned.

"Demons?" He asked and Dean grinned at the indication that Sam's mind was as sharp as ever.

"Yeah, they seem to be headed this way. Could have nothing to do with us or..."

"They after us. When will...wwe llleave?" Sam asked and Dean looked to Bobby.

"Better be ready to make a run for my place at any moment." The older hunter answered and Sam nodded.

 

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"Something on your mind?" Bobby asked and Dean sighed but nodded.

"Sam's not up to this Bobby."

"He's stronger than he looks Dean; you know that better than anyone." Bobby argued and Dean glared at him, eyes actually flashing black.

"You...you didn't see it Bobby. What that bitch forced him to see for three years without stopping. He's still not able to walk far let alone fight..." Dean told him and Bobby sighed, running a hand through his greying hair.

"Then we go now, before they get any closer. Grab a car and take Sam that way." Bobby suggested and Dean nodded. Bobby left him alone and Dean wandered around slowly, staring at the small house that had become home after the last sixteen months. The place had been good to them and he was sad to be leaving it but to keep Sammy safe they had to.

TBC...


	8. 8

Bobby was taking his turn at the wheel meaning Dean could sit in the back, Sam lying with his head in his lap, fast asleep. Dean knew the sleep was good for him, especially while travelling but it made him remember what Sam had been like when he'd first found him and he didn't like that. Bobby would glance back at them every so often but other than that the car was silent as they travelled. Dean was petrified by the thought of Lilith finding them, of her being able to trap Sam away from him again and he wished he could just transport them back to Bobby's but that would leave a very obvious trail for the others to follow.

"Look out!" Dean screamed, covering Sam's body with his own as Bobby swerved, the truck clipping the car and sending it spinning across the road to slam into the rail. "Bobby?" Dean called once it was still.

"I'm okay. Was that?"

"Demons. We need to move fast." Dean yelled, staring down into terrified yet determined hazel eyes. Dean kicked the door open and clambered out, pulling Sam with him. He slung Sam's arm over his shoulder, Bobby taking Sam's other side as he joined them the truck had pulled to a stop and the doors were opening, demons emerging. "Run." Dean said and they took off, Sam stumbling and staggering between them. They moved as fast as Sam could but all three knew it wasn't fast enough as they heard the demons running after them.

"Leave me." Sam wheezed and Dean tightened his grip on his brother.

"Not happening kiddo." Dean snapped, trying to take more of Sam's weight so they could move faster.

"Slowing down, leave me." Sam said again and Dean shook his head before pausing behind a tree. Bobby stepped back so Dean could pin Sam to the tree.

"Never, beside Lilith wants you too and I won't let her get you."

"Too slow, can't watch you...Dean." Sam whispered, tears falling and Dean hugged him, an idea hitting him.

"Do you trust me?" He asked and Sam nodded. "Close your eyes and open your mouth." Dean whispered and Sam's eyes widened before slowly shutting and Sam opened his mouth. Dean leant in as if to kiss him, flowing from the body he used to Sam. Sam's body jerked and there was the distant sound of a body crumpling to the ground and then Dean was staring down at Bobby from a greater height. He felt Sam trying not to panic and gently wrapped himself round the kid, soothing him. He smiled as Sam relaxed, happy that Sam had accepted what he'd done and proud of the kid for wanting to be alert while possessed.

"Dean?" Bobby demanded and Dean nodded.

"We're both here. We need to run now." He grabbed Bobby's arm and they ran. He could feel the toll the pace was exerting on Sam's body, knew it was setting the kids recovery back by months if not permanently.

'It's okay Dean.' Sam's voice whispered and Dean gave him the mental equivalents of a hug.

'I'm sorry Sammy.' He sent back and then he nearly stumbled as he felt a surge of love from Sam.

'As long as we're together I don't care if I can't walk properly.' Sam assured him and Dean relaxed, letting Sam feel his love in return as they bolted into the outskirts of a town, using the maze of streets to try and lose the demons following them. Dean grabbed Bobby and then shifted their location several times until they were several states away from where they'd started. After that they hotwired a car and took off again.

"You two okay in there?" Bobby asked once they'd been driving with no signs of pursuit for a good hour.

"Exhausted." Dean admitted and the hunter nodded.

"Get some sleep." Bobby told him and Dean stretched out as much as he could considering Sam's height before relaxing his control of the body enough that it would sleep. He dove deeper into Sam's mind, smiling when he found himself standing in front of Sam, exactly how he looked before hell. Sam reached out hesitantly, grinning when his hand made contact with Dean's arm and then Dean was yanked into a hug.

'Sammy.' Dean breathed, burying his face in Sam's neck as Sam clung to him. Sam pulled back and stared at him, smiling tearily.

'You look like you again.' Sam whispered and Dean smiled.

'Thanks to you kiddo. I...I didn't remember till I saw your memories.' Dean admitted and Sam nodded.

'That body...it wasn't the same as this.' Sam admitted and Dean looked down.

'I'm sorry Sammy.' Dean muttered and then Sam was hugging him again.

'It's not your fault, I'm just glad to have you back.' Sam whispered and Dean looked up at him.

'Even as a demon?' Dean asked hesitantly and Sam nodded solemnly.

'Demon, vampire, human, I don't care as long as you're here.' Dean swore to him and Dean leant further into Sam's arms, soaking up the comfort and love he'd gone centuries without.

'I missed you so much Sammy. I was scared it had been too long, that you'd be dead when I got out.' Dean admitted sadly and Sam tightened his grip.

'I'm not dead, I'm here.' Sam assured him, kissing the top of Dean's head in an effort to comfort him the way Dean had been comforting him since he'd woken up. Sam suddenly frowned and Dean looked at him.

'What's wrong?' Dean asked and Sam looked at him.

'I can talk...' Sam trailed off, confused and Dean hugged him.

'We're not really talking though. Nick said you had no trouble thinking and understanding, that's what you're doing. You're thinking to me, not talking.' Dean explained and Sam looked away.

'So I'm not better.' Sam whispered and Dean clung to him.

'Do you think I think less of you because you're having problems talking? Sammy I'm just happy you woke up, the fact that you can talk, know who I am, that's enough. There's still the therapy, you can't just give in. Maybe one day your speech will be perfect, maybe it won't, I don't care and neither does Bobby. I love you kiddo.' Dean whispered and Sam relaxed in his arms.

'You don't care if I'm never better?' Sam asked shakily and Dean ruffled his hair.

'As long as you're with me nothing else matters.' Dean told him and Sam managed to smile for him. 'Now you need to get some sleep; I pushed your body too hard. Probably set back your recover months if not years.' Dean admitted and Sam just smiled at him.

'Better that than dead or in their hands, I'm not mad. I'm just glad we got away. But what do you mean by I need to sleep? Isn't that what my body's doing now?' Sam asked in confusion and Dean nodded.

'But the rest of you needs to sleep too for your body to get all the benefits. Don't worry; I'll be here the whole time.' Dean explained and Sam frowned but nodded, looking around. Dean concentrated and a bed appeared, he led Sam over to it and got him to lay down. 'It's okay Sammy, just go to sleep.' Dean soothed, running his fingers through Sam's hair. Sam just stared up at him and Dean chuckled. 'Stubborn aren't you?'

'Learnt from the best.' Sam patted the bed beside him and Dean nodded, laying out beside him before pulling Sam into his arms. Sam wriggled around a little to get comfortable and then shifted again. 'Dean...'

'It's okay, want me to help?' Dean asked and Sam looked up at him. 'I'm in your head remember? Just go to sleep Sammy.' He said, running his hand over Sam's face, smiling when Sam's eyes fluttered shut and his breathing deepened.

 

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"We're there." Bobby called and Dean blinked his...Sam's eyes, looking around. Sure enough they were back at the scrap yard he'd originally kidnapped the hunter from. Dean stretched, mentally checking on Sam and smiling when he found the kid still fast asleep. They got out of the car, both looking for trouble.

"I don't think there's any demons nearby." Dean finally said and Bobby nodded.

"The house is trapped and warded; I'll go in and clear you some clear paths, okay?" Bobby offered and Dean nodded. Dean leant against the porch rail as Bobby went inside, keeping an eye out for trouble. Was getting away really that easy? Dean doubted it and figured that sooner or later demons would come; Sam's memories showed they'd known Bobby since they were kids which made him an obvious person to go to for help. "Okay, stay on the tape marked paths and you'll be fine. How's Sam holding up?" Bobby asked as he let Dean in.

"Still asleep." Dean answered as he looked around, the whole place tugging at him.

"Dean?" Bobby asked, moving closer in concern.

"I...I don't know...it's something..." Dean couldn't figure out what to say and Bobby clasped his shoulder.

"You've spent a lot of time here over the years. The room you boys usually use is upstairs, second on the right." Bobby told him and Dean nodded. "Are you okay?" Bobby asked and Dean nodded again.

"Sorry, it's just...it feels weird being here, like something I should know." Dean ran his hands through Sam's hair in agitation. "So what do you do now?" Dean asked and Bobby sat down.

"Lilith isn't gonna give up. Looks like..."

"We're going to have to kill her, somehow." Dean finished for him and Bobby nodded.

"Need to get you a new body too, can't keep running around in Sam's."

"Yeah. Know how we go about getting a brain dead person?" Dean asked and Bobby frowned.

"Can't you just...float round a hospital till you find one?" Bobby offered and Dean chuckled.

"You want to deal with the shocked family and staff?"

"Point but it may be the only choice."

"Yeah...Sam's waking up." Dean suddenly said, feeling Sam's presence shifting.

"Right, I better see what's left here in the way of food." Bobby left and Dean sat down, closing Sam's eyes.

'Morning Sammy.' He called out, moving back to where he'd left Sam asleep. Hazel eyes blinked open and then Sam was smiling at him.

'Morning. Where are we?' Sam asked, curling up in Dean's arms.

'Bobby's. Looks like we've lost them for now.' Dean answered and Sam nodded.

'Good.' Sam murmured, content to just lie in his brother's arms. Dean chuckled and tightened his grip.

'Still sleepy?' He asked and Sam shrugged. 'Bobby's cleared safe paths so we don't get stuck in any traps. You want to be in the driver's seat?' Dean asked and Sam shook his head.

'I'm fine here.' Sam told him and Dean frowned.

'You sure?' he asked and Sam nodded. 'Okay. We were talking about how to get me a new body so this shouldn't be for too long.' Dean told him and Sam stiffened. 'Sam? What's wrong?'

'Why do you need another body? You can use mine always.' Sam whispered and Dean closed his eyes, kissing the top of Sam's head.

'I can't Sammy, the strain it puts on your body, it's too much. And it's not fair to you having me in here too.'

'But I want you here.' Sam whispered.

'Sam...it's not good for you kiddo. I won't hurt you by staying.' Dean told him gently.

'Why not? My body works properly for you.' Sam snapped, looking away and Dean sighed.

'And it's getting better for you. Sammy...I just want what's best for you. I know it'll be weird with me looking different, again but we can deal with it.' Dean pleaded and Sam eventually nodded, curling back into Dean, as close as he could get.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean 'floated' through the hospital, searching for the right body and then he 'grinned' slipping out of the vent and into the room. He flowed into the man's mouth and suddenly the machines went crazy. Staff rushed in even as the body began to thrash, trying to remove the tube form his throat. Dean coughed as they removed the tube, feeling the weakness in the body's muscles from lying still in bed for over six months but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. It took longer than he would have liked for him to leave but the body was in was listed as a John Doe so he fed them a lie and signed out despite all the arguments. With that he headed back to Bobby's hoping Sam would like the new body.

TBC...


	9. 9

Bobby got up as a knock sounded at the door. He grabbed his shotgun and then opened the door. He stared at the man on the other side who just grinned at him.

"Can I help you?" He growled and then man laughed.

"Gee Bobby, you really need to relax." The man answered and Bobby tensed, raising the shotgun. "What? Don't like the new body? I didn't think it was that bad." He grumbled and Bobby's shotgun went down again.

"Dean?" He asked and the man grinned.

"Expecting someone else? It's me Bobby, gonna let me in?" Dean asked and Bobby stepped back, letting him in. "Sam still asleep?" He asked and Bobby nodded, putting the shotgun down but he was still watching Dean closely, making the demon sigh. "It's me Bobby. Want me to call Nick?" He asked and Bobby relaxed; only the three of them knew about the doctor. "I'm gonna go sit with Sam." He told him and then headed upstairs. Dean slipped into the bedroom, smiling at the sight of Sam curled up on his side, fast asleep. He reached out to run his fingers through Sam's hair, sitting beside him on the bed. Sam murmured sleepily and then slowly opened his eyes, starting when he saw Dean's new body. "Easy Sammy, it's just me. Got a new body." Dean told him and Sam stared at him with wide eyes. "Sam?"

"D…Dean?" Sam managed to get out and Dean nodded, moving to gently pull Sam into his arms, holding his brother close. A shaky hand came up to trace the new features, hazel eyes still very wide with shock and a little fear.

"Shh, its okay, I'm here." Dean soothed, rubbing his back and Sam relaxed at the familiar touch.

"Dean." Sam stated this time and Dean grinned at him. Sam lay still in his arms, studying the new looks. Dean's hair was closer in colour to what Sam remembered, maybe a shade darker and a bit longer. The body was slimmer but about the same height as Dean had been, the face more angular but it was the eyes that were the biggest difference, clear bright blue instead of the green Sam missed so much.

"You like?" Dean asked and Sam knew Dean was nervous; he wanted Sam to like his new body.

"Closer." Sam answered, snuggling into his arms. Dean relaxed and smiled down at him.

"How're you feeling?" Dean asked in concern, noticing that Sam was using single word sentences, something he hadn't done since shortly after waking up.

"Tired." Sam admitted and Dean sighed, running his fingers through Sam's hair.

"Sammy try a sentence, please? I'm worried. How much did my being in you hurt you?" Dean pleaded and Sam bit his lip nervously. Dean reached down to tease his lip from between his teeth. "Don't bite your lip kiddo. Come on, just try." Dean asked and Sam took a deep breath, swallowing a few times.

"Look closer….o…old D..." Sam got out and then hid his face, ashamed at the mess that had come out.

"Oh Sammy, its okay." Dean whispered, hugging him close. "I'm so sorry. This is my fault; if I hadn't possessed you…it'll get better kiddo, we can work with the exercises that Nick gave you. It'll get better." Dean promised, feeling Sam's tears soak into his shirt. "Shh, its okay Sammy, we'll get though this." Dean tried to assure him, leaning down to rest his forehead against Sam's who looked up at him, tears glistening in his eyes. Dean reached out to gently brush the tears from his cheeks and Sam hiccuped, making him smile softly.

"No leave me?" Sam asked shakily and Dean shook his head.

"Never Sam, I'll always stay with you." He promised and Sam nodded. "Hungry?" Dean asked, deciding to change the subject and Sam nodded. Dean helped him sit up and then got off the bed but stayed right next to Sam, just in case. Sam looked up at him nervously. "It'll be okay Sam, just try, we'll take it from there." Dean encouraged and Sam took a deep breath before putting his feet to the floor. He reached out and Dean took his hand, steadying him as Sam got up, only for his legs to buckle. Dean caught him easily, staying still while taking Sam's weight. "Easy, nice and slow Sammy. Try and put some weight on your legs." He whispered and Sam clung to him but forced his legs to straighten out before hesitantly trying to stand. Sam managed to get some weight on his legs before they buckled again and Sam let out a frustrated sob. "Shh, its okay, you're gonna be okay." Dean whispered, burying his fingers in Sam's hair. Sam clung to him but Dean could feel the grip was weaker than it had been before they had been forced to run. Dean shifted his grip and then lifted Sam into his arms, Sam curling into him. "Come on, let's go get some food."Dean offered, walking out of the bedroom and then down stairs.

Bobby looked up as Dean walked down the stairs and nodded sadly as he saw Sam curled up in his arms. Sam lifted his head and looked over at him so Bobby smiled at him, moving off the couch so Sam could be placed on it.

"'Bout time you decided to wake up kid. Hungry?" Bobby asked and Sam nodded. "I'll go get some sandwiches made then. You two relax." Bobby said, heading into the kitchen to make them all a light lunch while Dean sat down with Sam who was instantly back in his arms, needing the assurance that Dean was there and wouldn't leave him. Dean just smiled and held him, letting Sam's presence sooth the part of him that was all demon. He knew Sam was the only reason he wasn't like the others of his kind, Sam kept him human, or as human as he could be considering. He would do anything for Sam and he found that Bobby was becoming a close second. So he had two people to help him from becoming evil and bloodthirsty.

"Dean?" Sam called and he looked down at his brother, who looked very nervous.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked and Sam's fingers curled into his shirt, holding him close.

"Lilith…won't sto…stop." Sam whispered and Dean nodded.

"I know, but I won't let her get you and neither will Bobby." Dean promised and then had to grab Sam's hands as he tried to hit himself. "Hey! Come on Sam stop it. You're gonna hurt yourself." Dean told him, trying to be gentle.

"Stupid…lia….liab…" Sam gave up in frustration and Dean pulled him fully into his lap, cradling Sam's head against his shoulder as tears of anger and irritation ran down Sam's face.

"Shh, its okay, you're alright. You are not stupid or a liability. You're the one who remembered Lilith was after you after all. You're so brave Sam. I don't care if you never get better as long as I've got you and you know me. I was so scared you'd never wake up, that I'd always be alone. Without you….I don't think I could keep from being like the others." Dean admitted, scared that Sam would hate him for it. Sam just hung on as tight as he could, the tears stopping.

"Need you…always. Love Dean." Sam whispered and Dean smiled, planting a soft kiss on the side of Sam's head.

"Love Sam." He answered and then looked up as Bobby came in with a plate of sandwiches, happy when the hunter acted like he didn't see the drying tears on Sam's face.

 

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Sam studied his brother as he lay in his arms, supposedly asleep, but he'd been having nightmares since Dean had left his body for the one he was now using. Dean had changed a lot since dying but at his core he was still Dean Winchester, Sam knew it. Anyone else would have left him by now but not Dean, Dean had always been his protector. He knew he'd hurt Dean when he'd first woken up and refused to believe it was him but Dean hadn't blamed him, knowing it was the body and the fact he was a demon. Dean was unlike any demon Sam had ever known; even Ruby hadn't been so human. He didn't know what he would have done if Dean had come back as a normal demon, not remembering him. Then again he'd probably still be catatonic in a hospital bed somewhere. Why had Lilith done that to him? Why not just have him killed? It didn't make a lot of sense to him.

Sam snuggled closer to Dean, needing the comfort as he thought about things. He was glad that he hadn't suffered any damage mentally but then again if he had, would he have known the difference? Yes it was frustrating and painful to try and get out what he was thinking but Dean and Bobby were always patient and seemed to understand even when all he could manage were a few broken words. He was more annoyed that he was back at being unable to stand unaided, despite what Dean had said Sam knew it would make him a liability when they were found again. Sure Dean could possess him again but how much further would that set him back? He just wanted things the way they were before all the demon deals, was that too much to ask? He bit his lip, fighting back tears and then started as he found sad blue eyes staring at him. Sam smiled shakily at him and Dean smiled back, leaning in to kiss his forehead but Sam moved his head, letting their lips meet instead. He'd seen the way Dean looked at him now, knew it was partly because Dean no longer had the inhibitions against such things and partly it was simply Dean loving him. He didn't care; he loved Dean too, had for years but had been too scared to say anything to his skirt chasing brother.

Dean froze when Sam moved so that it was his lips Dean kissed. Part of him knew that humans would see it as wrong but he loved Sam. Hell had stripped everything but that love from him, making him show it to Sam so much more easily. He knew that he hadn't been so touchy feely with Sam before hell but he had to stay close to Sam to hang onto whatever tiny spark of humanity he had left.

"Sam?" He whispered and Sam stared at him, obviously nervous but not afraid.

"Please." Sam answered and then brushed his lips against Dean's. Dean smiled and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss and making Sam moan. He let his hands wander under Sam's shirt, getting a laugh when he found a few ticklish spots. Sam's hand moved to rub at Dean's neck, helping him relax, the other went under Dean's shirt to explore the unknown body. Sam's hands were warm and gentle as they explored his skin, making Dean shiver but then he flinched. "Dean?" Sam called, feeling the flinch but Dean didn't answer, his eyes closed tightly and his breathing becoming laboured. "Dean!" Sam pushed himself up to lean over Dean, gently rubbing his chest to try and help him calm down.

Dean fought back a scream as memories of hell threatened to drown him. He could feel hands and claws all over him, burning hot one moment and then freezing cold the next. He shook his head; tears leaking form his shut eyes as he tried not to let them know how much he hurt. He wanted Sam! He couldn't hold back the cries as claws ripped into him, tearing him apart before waiting for him to heal and then start all over again. He screamed as something was rammed into him, sobbing as he was violated in a way he'd never been before.

Sam didn't know what to do as Dean screamed in pain and fear. He wasn't responding to either Sam's touch or voice and he could hear Bobby running their way, alerted by Dean's screams.

"Sam?" Bobby called as he paused in the doorway, searching the room with his raised shotgun. Sam just gave him a lost look. "Dean? Son it's alright." Bobby called, moving over to the bed only to go flying into the wall, pinned by Dean's powers.

"Dean! Hurt…Bobby." Sam cried out, gently cupping Dean's face in his hands. "Wake up, no….real." Sam tried, wanting to stop Dean's pain but not knowing how. He didn't flinch when wild black eyes suddenly snapped open. He could tell Dean wasn't seeing him or the room by the way he was still struggling and whimpering. Sam had thrown himself across Dean's body since he wasn't strong enough to simply hold him down and he'd wanted his hands free to try and sooth Dean.

Dean found someone holding him down and snarled, rolling them so he had them pinned with an arm across their throat. He was confused why the demon wasn't fighting him, just holding onto his arm.

Sam stared up at Dean's rage filled face and knew that trying to struggle would not be good so he just reached up to hold onto the arms across his throat. It wasn't restricting his breathing too badly, yet. He glanced over at where bobby was still pinned, staring at them in terror. He looked back at Dean and saw a flash on confusion probably because he wasn't fighting back. He tool one hand off Dean's arm and reached up to stroke Dean's face softly, getting another snarl and the arm against his throat tightened slightly but he kept up the gentle touch.

"Shh Dean….Sammy….I'm Sammy. Safe." Sam called to him, trying to break through whatever Dean was reliving. He kept talking softly, calling Dean's name frequently and trying not to cough or choke, his throat was probably gonna bruise anyway.

He snarled as something touched his face, trying to keep it away from his eyes and increasing the pressure as a warning. Gradually he heard something over the cacophony of screams and demon taunts, something soft and vaguely familiar. He shook his head, confused and scared. What was happening? He was in hell, there was nothing gentle there, was there?

"Dean….come back…Dean." Sam called over and over, finally giving in and coughing a few times.

Dean blinked; letting up his hold a bit as words began to filter threw. He closed his eyes and tried to focus…..he knew that voice! Sam! It was his Sammy calling for him.

"Sammy?" He called out hesitantly, scared it was an illusion.

"Here…focus Dean. Safe….B..Bobby's h…house. Member?" Sam's voice came again and Dean focused on it, trying to work out was happening. "Dean…hurt." Sam whispered and then whimpered and Dean's eyes shot open to see Sam lying beneath him. Dean blinked and then threw himself off Sam, horrified by the sight of his own arm trying to choke Sam. He stared around, slowly recognising the room as the one they had been sharing at Bobby's. His eyes went to the wall and he froze as he saw a scared Bobby pinned to it.

"Bobby?" He whispered and the man nodded. Dean hugged himself, backing into the corner even as Bobby was released. He saw Sam roll over on the bed, reaching out to him with one hand but he kept backing away until he hit the wall and then his legs buckled and he slid down to huddle on the floor.

"Dean." Sam called but Dean buried his head in his arms, shame and self-hatred filling him. He'd hurt Sam!

"Dean!" Sam cried out again, falling from the bed and to the floor. He got to his hands and knees, crawling drunkenly over to where Dean was sitting.

"Sam!" Bobby hissed but Sam waved him off with a hand, knowing Bobby wanted him to back off but he wouldn't. Dean would never knowingly hurt him and Dean was aware now so it was safe.

"Dean." Sam whispered, sitting beside Dean and plastering himself to Dean's side, ignoring the way Dean went rigid. "Shh….okay Dean. N…not hurt." Sam told him, tugging at Dean's arms. Dean refused to budge though and Sam huffed in annoyance. He moved to sit in front of Dean and reached out to run his fingers through Dean's hair, trying to comfort him.

"Don't." Dean choked out and Sam smiled at getting a reaction.

"Why?" Sam asked gently and Dean finally glanced up at him, eyes still black.

"I hurt you. You have to stay away from me. I'm a demon, I'm evil." Dean whispered and Sam was the one to snarl in anger this time, making Dean blink at him in shock, black fading to blue. Sam reached out and put a hand on the back of Dean's neck, gently rubbing the skin.

"Not evil!" Sam snapped at him. "Know you'd…..never…h..hurt me." Sam assured him more gently, leaning in to gently brush his lips against Dean's. "Memories?" Sam asked and Dean jerked his head in a nod. "Hug please." Sam held out his arms and Dean stared at him before slowly uncurling enough for Sam to cuddle in. Dean wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in Sam's hair, inhaling his scent. "Shh, okay Dean. Safe." Sam whispered and Dean nodded, clinging to Sam. Dean glanced up at Bobby who stared at him before nodding, grabbing his shotgun and leaving the room. "Love Dean." Sam told him and Dean pulled Sam into his lap.

"Love Sam." Dean whispered back. "Sorry, so sorry Sammy." He whimpered and Sam rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.

"Not your fault." Sam stated firmly and Dean managed a small smile at the lack of stutter. "What triggered?" Sam asked and Dean looked away. "Touching….Dean did they…" Dean closed his eyes and Sam hugged him as tightly as he could. "Never hurt you, know…" Sam trailed off; chewing his lip again and Dean looked at him.

"I know you'd never hurt me Sammy. I'm sorry." Dean told him and Sam smiled.

"We'll figure out. Is….kiss okay?" Sam asked and Dean smiled, nodding.

"They never did that." Dean admitted so Sam kissed him softly again. Dean cradled Sam in his arms once they parted and then stood up, waling back over to the bed. He lay Sam down and then got on the bed beside him, smiling when Sam instantly curled into his side. He could see Sam was exhausted so he rubbed his back, soothing him to sleep. Dean just held him close and let the body relax into sleep.

TBC…


	10. 10

Sam ran his fingers through Dean's hair as his brother slept, hoping he'd sleep without nightmares. Whatever their little make out session had made Dean remember hadn't been good so Sam was scared he'd relive it in his sleep. So Sam was going to stay awake and help Dean the way Dean had been helping Sam the whole time since he'd gotten out of hell. Sure enough half an hour later Dean began moving restlessly in his sleep, mumbling incoherently.

"Shh…..Dean okay…I got you." Sam whispered, rubbing Dean's back and Dean moaned in pain making Sam choke back a sob. He had to be strong for Dean, no matter what his own problems were. Sam twisted around, curling himself around Dean to protect him from the world even as he nuzzled the back of Dean's neck and whispered to him. After a while Dean settled again and Sam relaxed a little, smiling softly when blue eyes fluttered open. Dean tensed but then relaxed as he recognised Sam leaning over him.

"Sammy." He murmured and Sam smiled, kissing him.

"Okay?" Sam asked and Dean nodded. "Nightmares." Sam said and Dean frowned.

"Sammy it's okay. Why didn't you wake me?" Dean asked and Sam frowned before seeming to realise something, shaking his head.

"No me. You." Sam said and Dean frowned, shivering a little. "Okay Dean." Sam told him, hugging him and Dean moved so they were face to face, wrapping his arms around Sam.

"Did I wake you?" Dean asked guiltily but Sam shook his head, smiling proudly.

"Stay up, help Dean like…." Sam hit the bed in frustration and Dean grabbed his hand, rubbing it to soothe him. "Dean help me. M…I help Dean." Sam got out and Dean nodded, pulling Sam even closer, kissing him softly. Sam smiled and snuggled into his embrace.

"So we help each other kiddo?" Dean asked and Sam nodded. "Okay. Just…..just don't let me hurt you." Dean pleaded softly and Sam just smiled at him. Dean chuckled and ran his fingers through Sam's hair. "Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam answered.

 

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Bobby smiled as he saw Sam curled up, reading on his couch. If he ignored the weight Sam had lost and then extra length to his hair the scene could come from any of the times in the past when the boys had stayed with him. Sam looked up at him and smiled. Bobby smiled back and grabbed the plate of sandwiches he'd made up, placing it on the low table in front of Sam. Sam rolled his eyes but took one, eating slowly.

"How're you feeling?" Bobby asked and Sam shrugged. "Is….what happened with Dean, is everything okay?" Bobby asked and Sam looked up at him.

"Dean never hurt me. Never!" Sam yelled and Bobby backed off, raising his hands.

"Sam calm down. I didn't say he would hurt you. I just wanted to make sure things are okay. That you're both dealing with what happened." Bobby assured him and Sam stared at him. "I know Dean would never knowingly hurt you Sam. I just…he didn't know who we were for a bit last night and he could have hurt you then. He nearly did and he can't be handling that well. Dean rips himself up over you stubbing your toe! Seeing himself trying to choke you….he can't be dealing well with it." Bobby said and Sam stared at him, ashamed for the way he'd yelled at the man who was a second father to them.

"S..ss…sorry." Sam stammered out, tears spilling over and Bobby pulled him into a hug.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for son." Bobby assured him and Dean relaxed behind the wall. Bobby didn't seem mad at him for last night which was good. Seeing the way Sam and Bobby acted around each other…..it made Dean wish he could remember the hunter. He's accepted him because Sam knew him, liked having him there and then Bobby had helped him protect Sam but he wanted the connection Sam had with the man. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall, hating himself for forgetting Bobby. Sam acted like he was family, why couldn't Dean have held onto the memories of him. "Idjit." A gruff voice suddenly said and then Dean found himself pulled into a hug. He opened his eyes to find it was Bobby holding him. Dean shuddered and went to pull back but Bobby didn't let go and Dean crumpled, clinging to him.

"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry." Dean began mumbling and Bobby held onto him.

"It's not your fault son. I'm just glad you're back here with us. You remember Sam, that's the most important thing." Bobby assured him and Dean looked up at him.

"But I don't remember you." He whispered and Bobby smiled at him.

"I know that, I also know that it's a miracle you remember anything of your life Dean." Bobby assured him gently. "You two….you're like sons to me, you got that?" Bobby asked and Dean stared at him with wide eyes before nodding. He'd thought Bobby was just tolerating him for Sam but maybe he really did care about him, demon or not. "I never want to have to bury you again Dean so we have to stop Lilith so she can't hurt either of you again." Bobby finished and Dean nodded, managing a small smile for him.

"Dean?" Sam called and Bobby released him, shoving him gently towards the living room.

"Better see what the kid wants." Bobby told him and Dean nodded, going to see Sam who smiled and held out his arms. Dean walked over and Sam hugged him.

"Bobby love you too." Sam whispered and Dean buried his face in Sam's hair, hiding the single tear that fell.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean jolted awake, panting for air. He looked around wildly, relaxing slowly as he recognised the bedroom at Bobby's and Sam's familiar weight on his chest. He reached down to run his fingers through Sam's hair, using the motion to help calm himself down. Sleepy hazel eyes opened and looked up at him and then Sam was pushing himself up, staring at Dean in concern.

"Dean?" Sam asked, reaching out to pet Dean's face and Dean lent into his touch. "Okay?" Sam asked and Dean nodded as his breathing evened out. "Nightmare." This time it was a statement and Dean nodded again. "You okay now." Sam assured him, hugging him. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, breathing in his scent. "Talk?" Sam offered and Dean shuddered, it might help but how could he tell Sam what they'd done to him? What they'd made him do to others? "Love you, won't change." Sam promised and Dean looked up at him.

"Sammy….I…." Dean trailed off, not sure what to say and Sam kissed him softly. "I hate it, what they did, what I did." Dean choked and Sam shifted, moving off Dean's chest to lie beside him and then he tugged Dean into his arms, running his fingers through Dean's hair.

"Okay. No matter….love you." Sam promised and Dean took a shuddering breath.

"The racks….the chains go through you, pulling, always pulling. Then…..they cut and tear at you until…..then it starts again and again and again and it never stops." Dean mumbled, feeling Sam's arms tighten around him, Sam's lips gently kissing the back of his neck, giving what comfort he could. "Always new things so you can't adjust, can't escape. They….hands, claws all over me, burning, freezing…..they….they did things…Sammy." Dean choked and Sam held him, whispering but Dean couldn't make out the words, he just clung to Sam's voice, letting it ground him in the present and the fact that he wasn't in hell. When the room began to focus he turned in Sam's eyes, surprising him with a deep kiss, buying his hands in Sam's hair. Sam gasped but his hands moved to rest on Dean's waist, rubbing at the skin there. Dean felt himself start to tense but focused on the kiss, the feel of Sam's lips against his and he relaxed. When they parted Sam was panting and Dean felt a flash of nervousness but Sam just smiled at him.

"Fast or slow you want." Sam whispered and it took Dean a second to work out what Sam was saying and then he nodded, accepting that Sam was okay with whatever he wanted. It felt weird, for someone to let him matter but Sam had always done that.

"Missed you so much." Dean whispered and Sam smiled.

"Missed you." Sam assured him, leaning in to kiss him again.

"Can we…I want to try…." Dean couldn't say it but Sam just nodded, staring at him trustingly. Dean rolled Sam fully onto his back and then lay over him, lining their bodies up. Sam smiled and then raised his hands, letting Dean guide him as to where they could go. Dean took one of his hands and kissed the back before placing it on his hip. Sam nodded and gently gripped Dean's hips while Dean placed his hands on either side of Sam's head, not wanting to risk hurting Sam accidentally if he grabbed too hard. Sam stared trustingly up at him and Dean took a deep breath before shifting his hips, making Sam gasp slightly. Dean froze, worried he'd done something wrong but Sam just lifted his head, sealing their lisp together and Dean realised the gasp had been good, not bad. He started moving again, making sure to keep his eyes locked on Sam's so he could use them to ground himself in the present. Sam kept his hands on Dean's hips but didn't try to control Dean's movements; he just rubbed at the skin and continued kissing him between breaths. Eventually Dean collapsed on top of him and Sam hugged him weakly, even as he trembled slightly himself.

"Good?" Sam asked and Dean nodded against his chest. He went to move off him but Sam tightened his grip. "Stay, not heavy." Sam assured him so Dean settled in, ignoring the wetness between them to enjoy the closeness. But after a while it started getting uncomfortable. He raised his head and looked at Sam to see he was a little worried but otherwise looked pretty blessed out. Dean smiled and Sam smiled back.

"Think we need a shower kiddo." Dean commented and Sam nodded, chewing on his lips.

"Did okay?" Sam asked nervously and Dean kissed him.

"Thank you Sammy. That was…..thank you. You…you did want….didn't you?" Dean babbled and Sam nodded, smiling at him.

"Love you, want this." Sam assured him. Dean relaxed and rolled off him, getting up before lifting Sam off the bed. Sam rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, letting him carry him to the bathroom.

TBC…..


	11. 11

Dean followed Bobby into the yard with Sam in his arms, smiling when Sam gasped in joy. Dean blinked at looked at the black car, something about it tugging at him.

"Kept her." Sam whispered and Bobby nodded.

"Of course I did, kind of hoped when you woke up…" Bobby told them and Dean frowned, shifting Sam so he could reach out to touch the sun warmed metal.

"Home." Dean whispered and then blinked in shock at what he'd said. Sam smiled and kissed him.

"Home." He agreed. Sam wriggled and Dean lowered him so Sam grabbed the door handle pulling the door open and then Sam pulled himself into the back seat, grinning at Dean and holding out his hand.

"Call if you need me boys." Bobby said and then made his way back to the house. Sam reached for Dean again and the demon crawled into the back, Sam tugging him into laying on top of him.

"Remember?" Sam asked and Dean chewed his lip.

"Sort of, more feelings than anything." Dean told him and Sam kissed him.

"Feelings good, can make memories." Sam told him and Dean nodded. Sam kissed him again and Dean fully relaxed on top of him, staring into Sam's eyes as his little brother gently touched his hips since that was where Sam had put his hands before. Dean nodded, breathing deeply and Sam slowly let his hands move up under Dean's shirt.

"Talk please." Dean pleaded, needing Sam's voice to help ground him.

"Here Dean, safe. Love you. Never hurt." Sam told him, keeping their eyes locked as he gently touched Dean's body. Dean stared at him the whole time, forcing himself to focus on Sam's voice and gentle touch, gradually melting into him and Sam smiled. Dean kissed him, moving his hands under Sam's shirt in return. The memories of hell had receded, forced back by Sam's voice and gentle touching. "Car sex?" Sam asked and Dean laughed, moving to kiss and nip at Sam's throat.

"My car." He said and then blinked but Sam nodded.

"Your baby." Sam assured him.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean helped Sam with his exercises, trying not to flinch every time Sam winced as muscles complained.

"Sorry." Dean whispered and Sam smiled at him.

"Know not meaning, have to…..get better." Sam told him and Dean nodded. They finished up and then Dean helped Sam into the hot tub Bobby had managed to get, soaking in the hot water with jets really helped relax his muscles after a session. Sam pouted so Dean stripped off and joined him, cuddling together.

"Does it bother you?" Dean asked and Sam looked at him. "This body?" Dean whispered and Sam kissed him.

"Love this." Sam pointed to Dean's heart and mind. "Just package, you still you." Sam assured him and Dean nodded. It was something he wondered about now and then, wether Sam liked the body or him, now he knew it was him. Sam kissed him, gently rubbing his back. "Love Dean." Sam whispered and Dean smiled at him.

"Love Sammy." Dean responded.

 

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"Anything?" Dean asked and Bobby sighed.

"There's nothing, no one's heard a thing either. Looks like they've gone to ground."

"They have to know we're here by now so why just stop? They can't have just given up." Dean argued and Bobby nodded. Dean bolted upstairs as Sam screamed, Bobby lagging behind. Dean checked the room but it was empty. "Sam? Sammy answer me." Dean called as he gently pinned Sam's arms. "Come on Sammy, wake up kiddo." Dean called and panicked hazel eyes snapped open, Sam gasping for air. Sam cowered back and Dean felt a flash of pain but then Sam blinked as if only just seeing him and lunged into him, clinging to Dean. Sam sobbed and Dean lifted him into his lap, cradling him close. "Shh, it's okay, you're safe, I've got you." Dean murmured as he rocked him. Bobby stopped in the doorway and then left, letting Dean handle it. "Nightmare?" Dean asked as Sam calmed. Sam hadn't had a bad one since they'd gotten to Bobby's, Dean had been hoping Sam wouldn't have anymore.

Sam shook his head, staring up at Dean, still scared. He couldn't lose Dean, not again, it'd kill him. Sam lunged up, kissing Dean desperately and Dean let him, rubbing his back before he pulled away.

"Hey, what's going on Sam?" Dean whispered and Sam buried his face in Dean's chest, inhaling the familiar scent. It was weird, he smelt almost exactly like he remembered Dean smelling, except for the underlying smell of sulphur that always came with demons. "Come on Sammy, tell me what's wrong." Dean pleaded, nuzzling at him.

"She…gonna kill y..you." Sam whimpered and Dean tightened his grip.

"It was just a dream Sammy." Dean promised but Sam shook his head, clinging to Dean.

"Her….L..Lilith! Like yellow….talk…dream." Sam choked out and Dean frowned. Yellow…..the demon that had been after Sam? Dean tried to remember.

"You saying that demon was able to talk in your dreams and Lilith just did the same?" Dean asked and Sam nodded.

"Coming." Sam whispered and Dean closed his eyes.

"She's coming here?" Dean asked and Sam nodded. "Do you know when?" He asked and Sam shook his head, looking scared. "Hey, it's okay, we're gonna be okay." Dean promised softly. He gently lifted Sam and carried him downstairs. "Bobby! They're coming." Dean yelled and the hunter appeared.

"What?"

"Lilith decided taunting Sam would be fun, she's on the way." Dean answered and Bobby nodded, going to gather weapons. Dean looked at Bobby and then Sam and the older hunter nodded.

"Got a demon proof room in the basement." He offered and Dean nodded, heading for the basement stairs.

"No!"

"Sammy, got to keep you safe." Dean told him and Sam shook his head.

"Safe you. Not alone." Sam argued. Dean sighed and kissed him softly.

"Sam please, I need to know you're safe." Dean whispered and then he was moving, covering Sam with his body as the door slammed inwards. Dean snarled, eyes black as he saw the demon waltz in like she owned the place. He wanted to cower away from her as he felt her power but he wouldn't, he'd done that enough in hell!

"Hello boys!"

TBC…


	12. 12

Dean snarled, eyes black as he saw the demon waltz in like she owned the place. He wanted to cower away from her as he felt her power but he wouldn't, he'd done that enough in hell!

"Hello boys!" Lilith smirked as she entered the house, the traps and wards not stopping her for a second. "Dean it's so good to see you! You're such a naughty boy leaving before I let you." She scolded and Sam whimpered, clinging to Dean, terrified she would somehow take Dean away from him. "And dear Sammy! You should still be asleep. Things are going to get bad now for you." She told him and Sam managed to glare at her. "Silly little boy. Dean's going to come home with me now."

"No." Dean denied, holding Sam close as he moved further back.

"Yes you will, you still have so much to learn. Don't be a bad boy Dean, come home with me." Lilith called, her power wrapping around him and Dean whimpered, struggling mentally against her. But Dean was nowhere near old enough or powerful enough and his grip on Sam slowly began to go lax. "Come here Dean, let's go home." She called and Dean stumbled to his feet, letting Sam go completely as he started to walk towards Lilith.

"Dean!" Sam called out in terror. Dean was leaving him. Why was Dean going to her?

"Good boy Dean." Lilith clapped in joy as Dean stood beside her.

Sam looked around for help but Bobby was still out cold on the other side of the room. "Dean please. No leave. Need you." Sam begged but Dean didn't seem to hear him. Lilith smiled and walked towards Sam even as he tried to push away, still unable to walk unaided.

"Shh Sammy, it's alright. In a few minutes you'll be asleep again. I'll even let you be with Dean in your dreams; they'll be so good you'll never want to wake up." She grasped Sam's face and he struggled weakly.

"No." He yelled, fighting against her but his eyelids began to feel heavy; the world feeling like it was fading away. "N….no….De….an." Sam mumbled as his head began to drop forward, his eyes starting to go glassy as she forced him back into his own mind. He couldn't feel his body anymore as a hazy image of a smiling Dean began to appear before him. He knew it wasn't real and tried to fight, tried to wake up. "Dean!" He managed a final cry as Lilith began to fade away and then he hit the ground.

Dean cradled Sam to his chest, shaking him gently as Sam stared through him. Not this, not again. "Come on Sam, don't do this. Sammy wake up!" Dean yelled, ignoring the pissed off demon as she walked back towards them. "Need you, please Sam. Love you." Dean kissed the unresponsive lips, running a hand through Sam's hair, trying to wake him. What had he done? This was his fault? He'd given into the bitch and now Sammy was gone again. Sam's near silent final plea had been what had broken through, had freed him from her power. But he didn't know if he could fight her off all the time without Sam. She looked rather pissed but since he'd thrown her through a wall he figured that was normal….and now he owed Bobby a new wall. "Sammy." He pleaded as he felt her reach for him again but this time he could block her…..this wasn't just him it was…..Sam? "Sammy." He whispered in relief and hazel eyes slowly focused, a shaking hand coming up to clutch at Dean's shoulder.

"No…..leave." Sam mumbled softly and Dean smiled in relief, kissing him briefly.

"No!" Lilith shrieked, actually stomping her foot like a toddler. Dean snarled at her, holding Sam close, feeling his brother exhaustion and the way Sam was still limp in his arms. Sam may have managed to come back to him but it had cost him dearly. Dean managed to get up, Sam held securely in his arms as he glared at her. It was incredible, he could feel Sam's powers mixing with his, making them stronger. Together they could match her. He felt Sam's mental agreement and then they attacked her.

Lilith screamed under their assault, feeling them killing her and she was terrified. How could they do this to her? It wasn't possible! She gasped and fell to the floor, convulsing but she would not go alone! She lashed out at Dean, latching onto him and pulling even as her soul was torn apart. As she died she thrust Dean back down to hell.

Sam yelped as he was dropped, Dean's body going rigid, mouth opening as his demonic form was expelled. Sam watched in horror and screamed when something forced Dean's soul down through the floor only to vanish. Sam moaned in pain but dragged himself to Dean's empty body, shaking it as tears fell from his eyes. "Dean come back. Dean please." Sam begged and then started screaming and shaking.

Bobby groaned and looked around, there was a wall missing. Hearing screams he staggered up and then froze as he found Sam trying to shake awake the body Dean had been using, the very dead body. Whatever had happened….Dean was gone.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean screamed as he was forced from the body, he could feel himself being dragged down, dragged back and it terrified him. Lilith was dead, Sam was safe and Dean would never see him again. They'd never let him escape again. Not unless he fully gave in and forgot Sam, was truly one of them. Dean's very soul cried out in grief as he felt Hell approaching but then everything went white and Dean screamed, coughing as he huddled on the….ground. He coughed and choked as he looked around. It looked like….earth? But how? He snarled and backed away as he saw a stranger, covering his eyes in pain.

"My apologies Dean, it should be painless to look now." A male voice called and Dean cautiously uncovered his eyes to see a man standing nearby. The man was shorter than Sam with short dark hair and intense blue eyes.

"Who…what…." Dean stammered as he slowly staggered to his feet.

"I am Castiel, an Angel of the Lord. I intercepted you and brought you back to earth." He explained and Dean stared at him.

"Angel….why? I'm a demon, shouldn't you want me gone?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"Demon or not you are a good man Dean Winchester. Despite centuries in hell you managed to stay true to yourself and are still capable of love. You also managed to defeat Lilith at great personal risk. For this you have been given a gift." Castiel stated, motioning for Dean to look at himself. Dean did and froze in shock. His hands…..they looked like they did in Sam's memories.

"What….how…Bobby said…."

"Your body was salted and burnt as befitted a hunter. Recreating it was not difficult. I cannot make you human again, not even an archangel can do that. However I did bind you to the body, you cannot be exorcised and sent to Hell by any demon or human." Castiel explained and Dean stared in awe.

"I….thank you."

"You are welcome. You must return now, your brother needs you." With that Castiel reached out and touched his head and Dean blinked, finding himself back at Bobby's.

He stared in shock at the sight of Sam lying on the ground, clinging to the body Dean had been using, hazel eyes staring at nothing even as Bobby tried to rouse him. "Bobby?" Dean called cautiously.

Bobby turned and grabbed his shotgun, levelling it at him. "Don't you dare!" Bobby snarled and Dean staggered back a step.

"Bobby no, it's me."

"Dean's gone." Bobby snapped and Dean could see the pain in Bobby's eyes.

"I'm here Bobby." Dean let his eyes flash black briefly. "Sammy needs me Bobby." Dean pleaded and Bobby hesitated. "It's really me, I'll explain later. Please." Bobby sighed but let him passed, still watching warily.

Dean sat down and pulled the unresponsive Sam into his arms, cradling him close. He ran his fingers through Sam's hair, gently kissing him but Sam remained utterly limp in his embrace. "Come on Sammy, come back to me little brother. I'm right here, we're safe. She's dead Sammy, we did it. Lilith can't hurt us anymore." Dean called, trying to reach him. He just sat and talked to Sam for hours but eventually took a deep breath and reached for him mentally, brushing Sam's mind gently. Still getting no response he stood with Sam cradled lovingly in his arms. "Im…I'm gonna get Sammy comfortable in bed." Dean whispered and Bobby nodded, shotgun gone. No one but Dean treated Sam like that.

Dean carried Sam up to their room, tenderly stripping him off and then settling him into bed. Dean got in beside him and just held him close, talking quietly and telling Sam about the crazy angel that had saved him. He stayed like that all night, occasionally managing to get Sam to at least drink a little water, even when Sam's eyes closed in sleep.

"Nggg…." The soft sound had Dean's heart skipping a beat as he shifted to peer down into Sam's face. Sam's eyes had opened a little while earlier but they were still blank.

"Sam? That's it, you can do it. Please Sammy, don't leave me." Dean called and Sam's head lolled on the pillow, eyes rolling in their sockets. "That's it Sam, you're getting there. Just focus on my voice, I'm right here." Dean encouraged and slowly the haze seemed to slowly lift from Sam's eyes. "Sam? Can you see me?" Dean whispered shakily, stroking Sam's cheek.

"Mmmmghhhhhhhhh….." Sam was making noise, that had to be good.

"Yeah Sammy, I'm here, you're safe. We did it Sam, Lilith's dead." Dean told him and Sam blinked.

"N….De….." It was barely audible but Dean relaxed a little as Sam tried to talk.

"Yeah Sammy, I'm here." Dean assured him and Sam's head lolled form side to side. "Sammy, it's me." Dean promised.

"N…real….sle….ep…ing." Sam's words were garbled and Dean frowned as he tried to work it out.

"You don't think I'm real? Why…..Sam this is me. As Lilith was dying she tried to send me back to…..back there. But it was stopped, I didn't go back. There was this man; he was an angel Sammy, a real angel. He said they had a gift for me, for killing Lilith and stuff. This is my body, right Sam, this is the old me?" Dean asked and Sam stared groggily at him. A trembling hand slowly moved to touch him, Sam staring at him. "It's okay Sammy, where in our room at Bobby's. You scared me, the angel sent me back and you were just lying there, like when you were in the hospital. Thought I'd lost you." Dean admitted.

"De…..re'…l?" Sam whimpered and Dean nodded.

"I'm here Sammy, I'm real." Dean promised and a few tears slid from Sam's eyes. Dean gently pulled Sam into his arms, sitting them up against the headboard. He gently ran his fingers through Sam's hair, kissing him and Sam relaxed briefly until someone knocked on the door and Sam tensed. Dean kissed him and called out, smiling as Bobby walked in.

"How's…..Sam? You with us kid?" Bobby asked hopefully and Sam nodded reaching out weakly and Bobby moved quickly to the bed, hugging him tightly. "Thought we'd lost you again kiddo." Bobby admitted.

"R…real…..this real." Sam stuttered and they both nodded at him.

"It's real Sammy, you're safe." Dean told him again and Sam started crying, reaching weakly for Dean who held him close, kissing his face softly.

"So Sam's awake again thankfully and you…..look like yourself again how?" Bobby asked and Dean looked up at him.

"I could feel myself being dragged back and then there was this….white light, it hurt it was so bright. I was on the ground and there was this man there, an angel. He said that this was a gift, for killing Lilith." Dean admitted and Bobby stared at him in shock.

"Well it's good to have you looking like yourself again." Bobby told him. "I'll leave you two to talk." Bobby said and then headed downstairs to figure out what to do about his missing wall.

Dean smiled as Sam's shaking hands moved to gently touch his face and then down his neck and chest. "Like this better?" He asked and Sam smiled.

"M….mm…missed bbbut ss…still….lloved." Sam speech was a lot more slurred and broken than it had been recently but Dean guessed that was because of what Lilith had been doing to him. Sam tilted his head and Dean lent in to kiss him, Sam responding eagerly. "F…free." Sam whispered and Dean nodded.

"Yeah Sammy, we're free now. No more worry about demons coming after us." Dean agreed, kissing him again, Sam clinging to him weakly, moaning softly. Dean gently stroked Sam's sides and stomach as they kissed and Sam shivered, trying to get closer to him. "Shh Sammy." Dean whispered, gently laying Sam flat on the bed. Sam stared at him, smiling softly.

"Y….yo….ok'y?" Sam asked and Dean nodded. For once he felt no nervousness or anything about them being intimate was it being in his body that gave him the extra confidence? Or the fact they were no longer being hunted?

"Sam can I….." Dean trailed off, not sure how to ask but Sam just smiled and nodded. Dean smiled back and slipped his hands under Sam's shirt, exploring slowly. He slowly stripped Sam off and Sam helped as much as he could to get Dean out of his clothes, weak fingers gently exploring the familiar body, awed to find all the scars he remembered were gone. Dean touched Sam and Sam gasped, arching up as much as he could, wanting more. Dean kissed him again and Sam tried to return the touches but his arms were shaking badly. "Shh, I'll look after you Sammy, you just lie back and enjoy." Dean whispered.

"Y…you..?" Sam asked and Dean smiled.

"I'll be fine." Dean said, a finger moving lower and Sam gasped but then nodded when he saw the question in Dean's eyes. Dean looked around and grinned when he found the lotion, it would do. Sam shifted on the bed, spreading his legs out to give Dean better access. He was shocked to find his hand shaking as he went to prepare Sam and Sam just reached out to place a hand on Dean, petting gently to help sooth him and Dean smiled taking a deep breath to calm down. A few memories started pushing forward but Dean kissed Sam, using the taste of Sam to push them back. This was not going to be like what happened to him in Hell, he would never hurt Sam and Sam would never hurt him.

"Tru't..lo…ove.." Sam whispered, smiling tenderly and Dean nodded, coating his fingers and then kissing Sam again as he went to work preparing him.

By the time he slowly pressed inside Sam was well stretched so it didn't hurt. Sam tried to move, to meet Dean's thrusts but was too weak and Dean stared at him sadly but Sam just smiled at him. Dean stroked and touched Sam with one hand as he continued to thrust, wanting Sam to come first and he did, gasping and shaking as Dean paused in his thrusts, not sure if he should pull out since Sam was done but Sam's hands moved weakly to his hips, holding him in place and Dean started moving again. Dean managed to roll to the side so he didn't squish Sam when he was done, pulling Sam into his arms.

"G…g..ood?" Sam asked and Dean laughed, kissing the back of his neck.

"Better than good Sammy. You okay?" He asked and Sam nodded lazily.

"T'red."

"Then go to sleep little brother, I've got you." Dean whispered, pulling the blankets up. Sam smiled sleepily and then his eyes drifted shut. Dean held Sam as he slept, happy that he had managed all that without a major flashback. He hated that Sam had taken another hit to his recovery but they had time now to work on helping Sam get better. Dean would do whatever he had to help Sam heal, it was his fault, if he hadn't given into Lilith she wouldn't have gotten near Sammy. But he knew Sam didn't blame him, even if he thought he deserved it. Sam was so forgiving with him, he'd nearly strangled him before and Sam didn't leave him. He didn't deserve Sam but somehow he was lucky enough to have him.

The End.


End file.
